Taking my own advice

While record-searching/sorting, I stumbled upon this that I wrote to a client many moons ago, re. dating as a single parent esp. when your child is very young.

The constant search for “the next relationship” to the extent that parenting is put on the back burner is some messed up shit, but so is the pendulum swinging too far in the other direction where everything else gets put on the back burner and the child is the center of the universe. You don’t want to find yourself with an adolescent or young adult child one day who has an overdeveloped sense of entitlement to being at the center of everything you think and feel and do and who will punish you for daring to consider a relationship that is not centered on them one day.

Hmm… that’s pretty funny. I got to learn all the words to that song myself as a parent. Probably should have taken that advice I was dishing out…

Also this:

Martyrs don’t make good mothers. They just make money for therapists.

Hope that client spent the last 10 years balancing all that stuff a little better than I ultimately managed to 🤨 ‘Cause this stuff? Was a huge component of the misery/chaos crescendo that led up to my falling down and not managing to get back up for a few years, actually. I’ve been so focused on math and file folders I kinda forgot about getting kicked in the teeth by this crap.

I hardly ever meet anyone in my life who comes close to being my match in stubbornness. Some might call it bull-headedness. My grandmother certainly did! But my kid? Holy shit, y’all. She’d rather have been grounded *for an entire school year* than cave when she’d set her mind on not doing whatever it was I wanted her to do. Good times.

Parenting is not for the weak!

[reminder: i mostly update the Seraphin Station blog with new stuff. I mostly edit things that are already here on this blog rather than add new things so I can gradually make a coherent and less confusing whole out of the various blogs and sites I’ve got stuff posted/stored on. so if you want to read the latest, follow Seraphin Station, and consider signing up for the mailing list as well. I have all kinds of subscriber-only goodies going on with that.

And remember, if you’re a client/customer from 2015 whose stuff fell between the cracks and you want to know what I’m doing about it, there’s a whole FAQ devoted to that at Seraphin Station, too.]

2 thoughts on “Taking my own advice

  1. This was unsolicited.

    Best

    On Thu, Aug 13, 2020 at 5:21 AM Big Lucky Hoodoo wrote:

    > Karma posted: “While record-searching/sorting, I stumbled upon this that I > wrote to a client many moons ago, re. dating as a single parent esp. when > your child is very young. The constant search for “the next relationship” > to the extent that parenting is put on the bac” >

    Like

    1. I’m not tracking on what you mean.

      If you mean you got a notification about this blog post and that was unsolicited, that’s impossible. The only way to get notifications of updates from this blog is to follow it, either by adding it to your WordPress reader/RSS feed type of thing or by signing up to receive emails in your inbox when there’s an update.

      So there’s a very good chance you don’t remember following it, since I was offline for about four years and this blog was totally dead, but you had to have followed the blog at some point (or someone signed in with your email address did), because I couldn’t send you unsolicited notifications even if I wanted to.

      And that means I can’t un-sign you up, because I don’t have control over your subscriptions/feeds/follows. So as much as I’d like to take care of this for you, the best i can do is point you to this WordPress help article on how to unfollow a blog. https://wordpress.com/support/following/

      Or if you meant something else and I’m misunderstanding, please rephrase/elaborate and I’ll try again to help 🙂

      Like

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