Readings; Consultations; Special Offers; Rush Services

ETA: As of Feb 2013, I am *not* accepting new clients for full, standalone readings. If you are not a new client, and you have inquired about and are ok with my turnaround time on full, standalone readings, you are welcome to book one. But for new clients, if we have not worked together before, we have to get to know each other a bit first if you want to wait on me for a full reading, *or* you can visit any of my recommended readers or my colleages at AIRR and Hoodoo Psychics. I need to know you a little bit before I’ll take you on as a reading client (a store customer is not necessarily a reading/rootwork client; if you have purchased products or supplies from me but have never had a consultation or done altar work with me, then you are a new client for the purposes of this service).

I am still accepting new clients for consultations. Because wordpress doesn’t like the embedded paypal code, you will have to visit the mirror site in order to book the following services.

If you are ok with the turnaround times, you can book below or at my userinfo page here using the first set of drop-down choices. The second set of drop-down choices is the same as it’s been, for consultations and commonly-requested altar work that doesn’t require contracts. I am offering a couple of options for RUSH readings and altar work, for a few select services, if you have an emergency, but it’s a good idea to write first just to double check that we are on the same page about the service and completion/delivery timeline.

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Full-length, In-depth, Stand-Alone Tarot Reading

***For Established Clients Only, Please****If you do not already have a file in my client filing cabinet with your name and previous session notes in it, then you are a  new client. If in doubt, feel free to write and ask. If I know you and we have spoken about more than postage, basically, you can probably book this service.*

One question or issue. Typically runs 2-4 single-spaced pages. I need your full name and date of birth, and the names and dates of birth, if possible, of other people you are inquiring about. This can be a general overview of your love life or spiritual health or life path; a look at the dynamics in a relationship; a look at larger patterns in your life for a general area of inquiry such “career” or “love life”; an analysis of the underlying causes, past, or roots of a current situation; a look at the past, present, and future of a situation; etc. Please see caveats elsewhere in this post about fortune-telling and turnaround time, which may be significant.

Delivered via email. $60.

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Mini Reading/Quick Checkup

*New clients may book this service as long as we have interacted before and your name is already in my database but not on my “yellow-light” or “do not serve” list; this is essentially a consultation, only without the rootwork advice or case assessment part.

Mini readings via Runes, I Ching, Geomancy, Knucklebones, Naipes Espanoles, Tarot, Voodoo tarot, saints’ cards, Stichomancy, Pendulum, Loteria cards, etc., as appropriate to the query. Typically run about 1 single spaced page. These are best when you need a quick look into a couple of areas, or a clearer look at one particular area or facet of an issue rather than a long 3D look at it from multiple angles.  These are usually along the lines of, and about the scope of, 3-card layouts, such as “past-present-future” or “path A-path B-Advice” or “you-the other-near future,” for instance. They are quite informative for many situations or queries, and are good for checkups and followup check-ins. They might be a bit inadequate for queries where you want a look at your relationship dynamic, at someone’s complex motivations, at how multiple possible paths could unfold in the nearer to longer-term future when you’re faced with a choice, stuff like that – for that sort of thing you’d likely be better booking a full reading. But you could also get a quick look first and then, if you decided any particular facet needed further inquiry or detail, you could book a followup on that facet – sometimes a mini reading gives you all you need for the time being (and I’ve had more than a couple of clients tell me that my mini readings are more detailed than they are accustomed to getting in regular readings from some other readers). One question or issue only. Please see related caveats in this post re. fortune telling (don’t ask me what day you will meet your future spouse or what color his shirt will be please; that sort of thing is a waste of both our time imo) and turnaround time (varies, but is the same as those for consultations).

Via email. $25.

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Reduced Rate/Followup Coaching

Generally, you should not book this service unless you’ve been told to. If you are seeking to have your case assessed for eligibility for the AIRR Pro Bono fund, you can book this reduced rate session as your intake reading. Please note that while pro bono intakes are sometimes called “ten-minute readings” or “$10 readings,” not all workers offer 10 min/$10 readings but they may offer some other reduced-rate option. I do not offer 10-minute/$10 readings (in part because 1. I only do consultations, not readings, for new clients, and I want to be consistent about my vocabulary so everybody knows what to expect; 2. my sessions are all via email, and because of that 3. they all take longer than ten minutes). But I am happy to do an “intake consultation” for you if you want to have your case assessed for pro bono eligibility; please realize, though, that my standard turnaround times apply. This is NOT a rush service.

You may also book this reduced rate session if your previous coaching session opens up a new avenue of inquiry or concern that was not on the table when you booked your session and you want more information. You may sometimes need to book a followup coaching session in order to pursue that new line of inquiry. A followup is not appropriate in all cases; some aditional queries need their own, brand new coaching session; some will need divination (which needs a followup consultation instead of a followup coaching), so please ask before booking this service.

Via email. $15

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RUSH Consultation: Within 72 Hours

If you have a time-sensitive issue, you can book this service and I guarantee to have my response to you within 72 hours (three business days) from receipt of 1. cleared payment, and 2. all photos/info I need to begin. Otherwise I will refund your fee. That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday, and then the 24th business hour would in that case be Monday at noon, not Sat at noon — weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first). In the rare event that I have my own emergency and I can’t meet the promised deadline, I will offer you a full refund even if I have already begun work on your consultation – if you book a rush service, I guarantee that you will get your initial substantive response from me within 3 business days or I will refund the fee.

Please also note that it may take a few more messages back-and-forth for the session as a whole to be completed — consultations generally involve some back-and-forth so we can establish what your best plan of action is given your available time and resources, what the divination recommends, and your comfort level in undertaking your own work — and that this back and forth may exceed the 72 hour timeframe. Subsequent quesions, clarification, or discussion after the initial response from me does *not* fall under the 72 hour deadline guarantee; I will tend to further questions or clarification as soon as possible after you send it, but the 72 hour clock does not apply. This service gets you a rush consultation, but you should not presume it therefore necessarily gets you a rush contract or rush altar work; the guarantee is for the initial consult only. Visit my Consultations page for more info about what they are, how they differ from standalone readings, what you can expect, etc.

**Please note** that this service is intended for time-sensitive things and for emergencies; if you don’t have a genuine deadline or crisis, I will probably refuse your booking and refund your fee. All of my client’s situations are important, and many have time-sensitive issues they are waiting on me for and they booked trusting I would get to them within the stated turnaround; I won’t bump time-sensitive consults of other clients for a new “rush” booking on something that is not a genuine emergency or critical situation. So try to put yourself in my shoes — and in others’ shoes — for a minute and realize that others have upcoming court cases, custody hearings, foreclosure they’re fighting, government-imposed deadlines they’re dealing with, etc. Make sure your situation is genuinely urgent and not something that could be handled just fine if you were a little more patient or if you weren’t in such an upsetting emotional place about it 🙂

One question or issue/one set of detailed instructions per session. Via email. $55.

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RUSH Uncrossing/Cleansing with Personal Concerns

Distance Uncrossing/Cleansing on my altars, using your personal concerns, via bathing, censing, and/or pendulum work depending on the available type of concern.  A photograph of the person to be uncrossed or cleansed is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair is highly recommended. You will receive a booking acknowledgment email telling you how to proceed. I guarantee to perform the work within 48 hours (two business days) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first). This is for one Uncrossing/Cleansing session (analogous to a single spiritual bath, for example); some situations may need more than one session, just as some cases need more than a single spiritual bath, but this service is most often booked to coincide with and “back up” baths taken by the client at the same time, rather than serving as a substitute. Folks will often book one distance session to start them off strong on a course of Uncrossing which they then proceed to complete on their ends, as usual, with self-administered spiritual baths. It is also used when folks are having work done on behalf of someone who will not participate in their own cleansing/uncrossing and need work done on their behalf without their participation.  For more information about how these work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description.

One person or one dwelling/building (ie, a single object or set of concerns on the altar, not multiple photos or objects) per session. $50.

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RUSH Protection Work with Personal Concerns

Distance Protection work on my altars, using your personal concerns, via bathing, censing, and/or pendulum work depending on the available type of concern.  A photograph of the person, place, or home to be protected is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair (or dirt from a property in the case of a home or work environment needing attention) is highly recommended. You will receive a booking acknowledgment email telling you how to proceed. I guarantee to perform the work within 48 hours (two business days) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first).This is for one Protection session (analogous to a single spiritual bath, for example); some situations may need more than one session, just as some cases need more than a single spiritual bath, but this service is most often booked to coincide with and “back up” baths taken by the client at the same time, rather than serving as a substitute.  It is also used when folks are having work done on behalf of someone who will not participate in their own cleansing/uncrossing and need work done on their behalf without their participation. This is not a substitute for a full Fiery Wall of Protection spell, but it’s good for sensitive and/or acute situations of short but intense duration, such as when a phobic person is flying on an airplane, or when a client is going into a bad neighborhood on a certain time/day, etc. For more information about how these work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description.

One person or one dwelling/building (ie, a single object or set of concerns on the altar, not multiple photos or objects) per session. $50.

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RUSH Light Set

If you need a light set fast, you can book this service and I guarantee to have it set within 24 hours (one business day) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first).  This is for one light setting, of a one-color, glass encased vigil candle which will be dressed, fixed, and blessed for your intention. The burning candle will be “read” and reported on, with a one-page emailed report including photograph.  This service guarantees your light will be set on my altars within one business day or your money back (it does not rush your report once the light is done burning, nor delivery of your photographs of the work in progress – it just expedites the setting of the light). For more information about how light settings work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description. Feel free to write first and make sure I’m not coming down with something or expecting company or whatever during your 24-hour period, if you like.

**Please note** that this service is intended for time-sensitive things and for emergencies; if you don’t have a genuine deadline or crisis, I will probably refuse your rush booking and refund your fee. All of my client’s situations are important, and many have time-sensitive issues they are waiting on me for and they booked trusting I would get to them within the stated turnaround; I won’t bump time-sensitive consults of other clients for a new “rush” booking on something that is not a genuine emergency or critical situation. So try to put yourself in my shoes — and in others’ shoes — for a minute and realize that others have upcoming court cases, custody hearings, foreclosure they’re fighting, government-imposed deadlines they’re dealing with, etc. Make sure your situation is genuinely urgent and not something that could be handled just fine if you were a little more patient or if you weren’t in such an upsetting emotional place about it 🙂

Set within 24 hours (one business day). $45.


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After You Book

When you book your service, you will receive a booking acknowledgment email giving you instructions on how to communicate with me about your booking/service and give me further info/photos, etc.  For a full reading, you probably cannot fit all the details and background info I’d need into the “note to seller” box. That is fine – don’t worry. Just wait until you get the booking acknowledgment email and then follow the instructions in it by replying to it. ***Please do NOT send a separate or second email giving me your question/issue and personal information, separate from your payment. Most especially, do not use the Contact form at the website to send your info before or after your payment. PLEASE wait for confirmation and instructions instead, and then reply to that confirmation email.***

Delivery of your Reading/Service

Please note that readings are done on a first-come, first-served basis, and by purchasing a reading, you are reserving your spot in line. If you are in a really big hurry, please visit AIRR, The Association of Independent Readers and Rootworkers, for a list of reliable readers. Or visit my Recommended Readers page for a list of other recommended readers.  I don’t like being pestered and it is frustrating for both client and worker when clients don’t read the directions. When you book, you will get a confirmation email and an estimated turnaround time, but it’s just an estimate. So if you are in a hurry, ask first. You may be happier booking a reading with one of my colleagues instead of with me.

My Philosophy as a Reader
(Readings are not Consultations)

I prefer not to do “what is the name of my future husband” and “on what day will such and such happen” inquiries – they are not really very suitable queries for the type of reading I do (and they’re frankly not terribly useful areas of inquiry in general, if you want my professional and personal opinion from over 25 years of experience doing this, but your mileage may vary – I’m just trying to give folks a snapshot of where I’m coming from, and I come from a practical place focused on what you can do to change your situation for the better, so I don’t see the point of having a reading just to have a thirty-minute session of wish-fulfillment/fantasy role playing. You could meet that tall dark stranger in 2030, sure, but WWIII could have started in 2029, or you could be already married to someone else by then, etc. – I don’t see the point in “fortune telling,” in other words). If you do need some sort of specific timeframe analysis, you need to book a full-length reading, no matter the type of inquiry, because I will have to use astrology for that; and so I will also need the times and places of birth of the parties in question, in that case. Even then, things are not set in stone and you are probably not going to get a calendar day for an event.

My readings are very detailed and usually pretty long – a full reading is sometimes overkill for simple inquiries, like if you just want a quick look at which of two job options is more promising in the area of short-term income, or if you want a quick diagnosis on whether someone is being upfront with you. A mini reading or quick check-in might do the trick in those cases, if you don’t need a look into the dynamics or an extended outcome.  If you aren’t sure what type of reading to book, feel free to write me with your inquiry and I can make a recommendation.

I give readings with the Tarot, a pictorial system of divination that tells a story — and as a reader, I work with you to interpret what that story is saying that you need to hear. This means that sometimes the cards will have something to say that you don’t think bears on your original question, or have something to say that you don’t like or expect. I am not brutal, but I am honest, so please be prepared if you choose to come to me for a reading. I can help you look at your underlying motivations, your karmic “checking account,” and the unseen influences at work in your life, relationship, career, and family situation. I specialize in in-depth email readings. I am not a mind-reader nor am I clairaudient, so if you want somebody to tell you your dog’s name or what you’re wearing, please go to someone else. If you want a thoughtful, insightful reading and are willing to participate in the reading, then contact me — I have a great deal of experience at seeing patterns of behavior and “getting at” underlying motivations. I am not here to “Wow” anybody with my “amazing psychic-to-the-stars!!11omg skills, or “no need to tell me a thing!” gimmicks; I am here to show them how to “Wow” themselves by getting to the heart of their experiences, seeing and releasing useless or harmful patterns of behavior, and seeing and capitalizing on positive patterns and energies. I don’t do mumbo-jumbo and fluffy teddy bears and fortune-cookie readings – I do practical, down-to-earth readings that leave you with a clearer picture of your situation and options and empower you to make better decisions for your success and well-being.

I believe we have control over our choices and our paths in life, and that free will is one of our greatest spiritual gifts (even though it’s also a source of tension and uncertainty in our limited material, human perspectives!). I will never tell you something MUST be, in a reading — I will only tell you what influences are working at present and where things are headed based on those influences. You have the power to shape your life and take positive action. I can help you use the Tarot as a map when you need guidance, but you’re driving!

Please feel free to ask about how I work or tell me a little about your situation or issue before booking, so we can be sure you and I are a good fit for your divination needs. I am best at readings that look at underlying motivations, thoughts, feelings, patterns, and dynamics. I will not tell you how many children you will have or what your college roommate’s name was or any of that cold-reading stuff.

I don’t advertise these services as a reader outside the context of rootwork consultations at AIRR or elsewhere anymore, because root-doctor work, creating and shipping my line of supplies, and consultations have taken up all my available time for some years now. But you can look here to see my profile and testimonials at one of the numerous third-party sites I used to work through back in the day when I got back to the States and began offering services online; it should give you some confidence that I’m neither a novice nor a scam artist.  (note: please do NOT try to book a service through the liveperson site – the greedy bastards decided to require application fees on top of the 45% they take off the top of any session conducted through their site, and they didn’t grandfather anyone in, so I do NOT have an active account there because I am NOT going to pay them to be listed there. Therefore I *cannot* reply to your message, take your call, or do readings on that site. I am giving the link just so you can see that I didn’t fall off the cabbage truck yesterday.)

faq – things to know about getting new altar work established

Here are the instructions I send out when clients book new work:

I’ll need you to send the following as a response to this email:

1.  the full name and date of birth of any people being inquired about, including yourself.  If you included this information in the “note to seller” box on the paypal payment page, then there is no need to resend — you can scroll down to see a copy of the information I received with your paypal payment.  If you have anything to add to this information below, please send it as a response to this email.  If you sent a separate email containing this information, please resend that info as a response to this email.  (The reason I ask this is that if I have to go through a bunch of emails and threads to locate your info and piece together your query, it increases the risk for confusion, omission, and misunderstanding, and it also increases the time it will take for me to prepare and send you your consultation.)  I cannot work with the same precision without full names and dates of birth.

2.  any photos you would like me to have in order to do the reading portion of your consultation.  Please do not ask me to visit websites or stalk your targets on social networking sites to obtain pictures; I need you to download any photo you want me to use and then email it to me. Also, please clearly identify every person in the photograph and let me know if I need to crop anyone out.  Please send photos as a response to this email instead of sending a new email or asking me to dig through old messages. I can work without photos if you do not want to send one or don’t have one handy.

3. a brief statement of the issue, question, or situation on which you are seeking consultation.  You do not have to give me a long litany or life story, though you may give me as much information as you are comfortable sending me.  It is quite helpful, even if you do send a lot of information, if you could please try to sum up your main concern or question in a sentence or two, to sort of introduce your additional information, so that I am clear on what is most important to you; consultations are very targeted and very practical, so it’s usually NOT a good idea to try to get twenty different very specific questions out of one consultation.  So a short statement encapsulating your main concern or goal helps me ensure I address that concern or goal specifically.  Please note, however, that as with photos and name/DOB info, I do ask you to send anything you want me to consider in your consultation as a response to this email, for the reasons outlined above.

I know you guys are eager when you are ready to start your altar work, and I know that some of you secretly think I’m being a pain in the ass when I ask you to follow the instructions you receive upon booking new work.  Why, you think, should you have to send me the photos again when you just sent them to me last month?  Why can’t I just get them out of that old email?  Why, you think, does it matter if you send the petition in one email versus another?  Why can’t I just look in the other email?  Why in the world am I so hung up on people replying to messages instead of sending second messages with a different subject line?  If I don’t see the info in that message, surely I know I can just click the other message that was sent just a couple of minutes later, right?  What does it matter if the petition is four sentences versus two?

Emails

Most of these problems would be solved if people would stop for a second, and imagine an inbox filled with fifty versions of “hi do u do spellwork and can give me a free spell about my boyfriend plz hurry its an emergency and no1 will help me please help”.”  Then they could recite the following mantra: “I am not her only client.”  And maybe “She has a system for a reason.”   So NO, I do not see one email and immediately cross-reference it with the other fifty emails you’ve sent me in the past eight months.  I get a vast number of messages every day, and I deal with an awful lot of paper.  I do not take on more work than I have room or time for, but even so i cannot reasonably be expected to keep every little detail in my memory or to remember which of those messages had the photo in it. I will be happy to go digging for that info and match up all the different threads and emails, but you are going to be waiting for no good reason while I do it.

The instructions I give folks when they book new work are given for a reason, and it’s not because I’m just cranky or on a power trip.  I’m not cranky at all when folks follow the instructions.  But some of the stuff some clients have pulled lately – woohoo, takes my breath away.  So I am going to type a post about it once and for all, because I am simply NOT going to write another email explaining it.  I will just give this URL to people who ask me if the instructions apply to them.

So here are some guidelines that anybody should keep in mind when establishing new altar work, whether they are working with me or not.  This article is part of the “how to be a good client” series (aka, how not to get fired by your rootworker).

When sending personal concerns:

* DO send me hair, fingernail clippings, bits from a napkin or straw that the target’s saliva got on, small scraps of clothing that have been pre-trimmed into small, usable sizes, photos, and/or dirt taken from a target’s foot track.  Send these things in small plastic bags, and put the name of the applicable person on the bag. Put something in the letter or note accompanying the concern that clearly gives me your name and your email address at the very least, and ideally includes a copy of the receipt for your work, our email exchange about what you were sending me, a copy of the contract, or *something.*

* Do NOT send me loose, unlabeled personal concerns, and Do Not send me sexual fluids.[*]  If I am making you a mojo bag, then I do not need a big hunk of hair, or an entire shirt, or an entire sock, or an entire soda can, so please trim the concern down appropriately.  No, I do NOT want the plastic  bag full of used pantiliners you’ve been keeping in your freezer, and I do NOT want the wad of tissues you’ve been collecting in your nightstand drawer next to the lube.  If it would be put in a biohazard bin at the doctor’s office, then I DO NOT WANT IT.  If your neighbor would want to wash his hands after touching it, then please stop and think before sending it to me in the mail.  I swear, some folks do not extend to us rootworkers the courtesy they would extend to the guy who cleans the bathroom at the gas station.

If you stop for just a second and think and try to put yourself in your worker’s shoes, you might realize that we get dozens of envelopes from clients every month.  I might have fifteen honey jars on my altars right now.  I might have six or ten client files in my “pending” area waiting on personal concerns to come in the mail.  If you think I’m going to open an envelope with nothing in it but a wad of cloth or tissue and 1. know immediately what person in what case in what file to put it with, 2. just cheerfully reach in and touch GOD-KNOWS-WHAT with my bare hands, you are just not thinking, and you are not being a smart client.

You are especially not being a smart client because I KNOW that if we discussed you sending me personal concerns, then I specifically told you to send non-bodily-fluid concerns, AND to send the concerns already in pieces or sections small enough for me to use with no further alteration, AND to send them in separate plastic baggies.  I KNOW I told you that if there is more than one person involved in your case, then you need to label the baggies – unless you want me to GUESS.  Do you really want me to guess when it comes to your rootwork? 

Please folks.  The instructions are not there to make your life harder or as a means for me to be a bitch. They are there to help you get the best, most accurate, and quickest service (and they are there to keep me from getting overwhelmed, grossed out, or stricken with hepatitis or something).  If you got an envelope full of crusty tissue or random dirty clothing in the mail, would you touch it?  No?  Then what makes you assume that I will?

SO. When sending personal concerns, do not send biohazard material.  Send concerns pre-trimmed into small, usable pieces appropriate to their destination if instructed to do so; at the very least, before you send that entire t-shirt, ask your worker what he or she needs and can use. You do not want a cranky worker, and you don’t want a sick one either.  If you follow the instructions, you will get quicker service and your work will be accurate, and things will go smoothly, and I will have more time to prep and tend your work.

When booking work or light settings with emailed “concerns” or petitions:

When you book a light setting, service, or consultation with me, you get, as a reply to your payment receipt, an email outlining the next steps you should take.  If you do NOT follow these instructions, then it is going to take a lot longer for your work to get started. That booking acknowledgment email will always ask you to send your photos, petition, info etc as a response to that email.  Just hit reply.  That is the goal, to have you just hit reply.

This keeps your info in the same thread, associated with the payment that initiated your new case/booking.  Some clients think that because they have been clients for a while, they can ignore the instructions, because surely they don’t apply to them – they’ve been a client for so long, and we were just talking about this case in another thread just yesterday, and we are friends (etc).

Especially established clients who are booking additional light settings:

But it’s actually *worse* when it’s established clients that do not follow the instructions.  If it’s a new client, I probably only have a couple of emails tops from them in my files.  I can match the petition to the payment with a fairly quick search, most likely.  But not with established clients.  Y’all established clients who have asked me “Do I need to send you the photo again?”, I want y’all to stop a sec and think of all those emails you’ve sent me over the last weeks or months or years.  Really think.  Now, imagine I get an email from you vaguely referencing some work I vaguely remember you mentioning before. I can’t be sure of the details without those other emails in front of me, though, because I’m NOT A MENTAT, and you haven’t associated the email with the payment that initiated your new case, and you haven’t hit reply to the instructional email I sent you, so it does not pop up in my inbox with the nifty tagging-and-flagging system I have set up so that I immediately know when a client petition or photo I’m waiting on comes in.

No, you don’t follow the instructions so that your email gets my *immediate attention* because it is a *pending file* on a paid case which means I may be opening my email specifically to look for *your email* so I can start *your work.*  Instead, you send a second email with a new subject line, or for some completely illogical reason, you send it as a reply *in another thread entirely* where we were talking about the case that was not at that time open yet, or talking about how your last light setting went, or something else.  If you send it as a reply in another thread, like the one that evolved from your last light setting, that thread might be tagged-and-not-flagged, because the tag is “work completed.”  That means it is most assuredly not getting flagged as a top priority in my inbox. Meanwhile, your pending work is pining away in my file waiting to be responded to so that it gets a bright yellow tag next to it telling me I can start your work.

Each new booking is a new file and a new beginning, in terms of organizing your info:

I encourage clients to think of the payment acknowledgment email as the beginning of a new file.  It does not exist prior to that email, and it is created when payment is received.  All the stuff that pertains to that case needs to be kept in that file.  Can I go through old emails and move old info to the new file? Sure. But you probably don’t have fifty open rootwork cases, nor twenty rootworkers clamoring for your attention, nor a stack of papers by your elbow waiting on new info to come in so orders and bookings can be processed.  So it makes sense for you to put the info you want to associate with that new case in the proper file – reduces the risk of error, omission, and confusion.

How my inbox tagging and flagging system works:

The way orders are processed means that if you do not send the info as requested, as a response to the email in the same thread that your payment acknowledgment is in, but rather send it in a new email (or worse yet, in an old email thread that already has a label like “work finished and filed” on it because we were having a conversation in the thread associated with a light setting I did a month ago), then your message containing photos, petition etc are just floating around in the inbox with the hundred or so emails I;ve gotten in the last few business days.  Meanwhile your new booking is still in the “pending” file with a label showing that I’m waiting on the info from you to begin.

I answer regular incoming emails in the order they are received, and I get a boatload, y’all.  But emails coming in that are related to a current, open case for paid rootwork damn straight get opened ahead of other emails.  When you send the info according to the instructions, then they pop up flagged in my inbox so that I know to go straight to them because they relate to pending altar work.   The instructions are there to help the client get their work faster and ensure  there are no mistakes, and that the proper petition, photo, etc is associated with the proper light setting every time.  I swear to God that is why they exist. I swear to God they do not exist because I want to drive my clients away with my nitpicky rules.

Bottom Line:

The instructions are there to help the client get their work faster and ensure  there are no mistakes, and that the proper petition is associated with the proper light setting every time.  I don’t ask y’all to hit reply because I need to reread my own booking acknowledgment instructions that I sent you; I ask y’all to hit reply because I need the info to come in associated with the current altar work, not the altar work you booked on Sep 4 and that was closed out on Sep 24.

And as for “I’m sure you still have the photos, so I won’t bother resending them,” it just does not work that way.  We USE the photos you send us. We write on them, put oils on them, set things on them. They get bent, they get sticky, they get wax drips. They may be burned, bent, folded, spindled, or mutilated, depending on the work.  And as for “I’m sure you can just reprint them,” it just does not work that way either.  I’m going to use a recent light setting client as an example really quick here – I just opened her file in my gmail account. She’s been a client for a bit over a year.  There are 55 email threads in her file.  Some have two or three messages in them.  Some have 35 messages in them. Some have 70 messages in them. Most have between ten and twenty.  And just for fun, she writes from one account but makes paypal payments from another account.

Do you really want me to sit here and spend twenty or thirty or forty minutes going through several hundred messages looking for that petition or that photo, redownloading it, and reprinting it?[**]  Or would you rather take ten extra seconds to attach the photo again so that I can spend that twenty or thirty minutes *starting your altar work*?  It really is up to you!

Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood rootworker who has just written all this out for the very last time 🙂  Happy hoodooing, and I’ll try to put up a more entertaining and less didactic post as soon as I get caught up with all these light settings that have been “pending” for four, five, even seven days waiting on client petitions or photos:-)


[*] There are reasons for you to send me things associated with sexual activity in some rare cases. Most of the time this stuff can be handled or added on your end.  But in those cases where you are sending a concern even remotely related to sexual fluids, I guarantee you are going to get very specific instructions ahead of time, and we are going to discuss it in detail, and if you then do not follow the instructions, you have just wasted all that transit and waiting time sending me stuff I will not touch, never mind use.

[**] Yes, I have tried creating folders on my computer and collecting client info in them as it comes in, so for returning clients I can just go to the folder to reprint a photo or double-check the spelling of a target name.  But y’all don’t always keep the same hair color, or the same names for that matter, and you don’t always keep the same targets, and you don’t always keep the same petitions, and over the years I have found that having clients simply give me the info they want me to use in any new case is the best option.

livejournal services/paypal buttons update

A few of you have recently pointed out to me that my paypal button on my livejournal userinfo page here
http://karmazain.livejournal.com/profile
for booking extensions on honey jars and the like makes more work for you, in that if you want more than one session or more than one week, you have to complete more than one transaction since you couldn’t add multiple things to a "cart" but had to check out immediately after making your first selection.

I had reasons for not wanting to permit quantities on the livejournal services menu, but your points were well taken, and I came up with a workaround which makes room for my reasons but also allows a few services to be booked in multiple quantities at once – and that’s simply a second, more limited "menu" that permits multiple quantities on some select services.  I should have thought of this before, I’m sure, but – well, I didn’t.

So anyway, now *existing clients* can book upkeep on existing honey jars more easily, and clients who want longer-term "runs" of back-to-back vigil lights with one report at the end of the run (rather than a full report after each single light) can book them all at once.

Examples:

You are a new client and want a honey jar made by me and worked by me on my altar for one month.  You would use the first "services" menu to book that service (and you need to write me about first really anyway, because that kind of work needs a contract so we are both on the same page about disposal, shipping or not, what you get re. photos and reports, etc).

You already have a honey jar on my altars and you do not need a new one made.  You just want me to work the jar longer, after the initially contracted work is complete.  You would use the second menu to book further work by the week, and you can now manually input how many weeks you want by changing the "quantity."  A quantity of one = one week (three lights, on M, W, and F); a quantity of four = four weeks.

You are an existing client, know how I work and what to expect, and want a taper light set on a saint’s or loa’s altar for a petition or a thank-you or the like.  You don’t need a report with ceromancy reading.  Use the second menu to book that service, at whatever quantity you please.

You are a new or existing client and want a standard vigil light setting with emailed report and photo.  Use the first menu to book those, one at a time.

You are an existing client and want a three-day or seven-day "run" of vigil lights set back-to-back on my altars, so there is no interruption between the lights – a vigil will be constantly burning for the duration of the run (the next one will be lit right before the previous one goes out).  You don’t need a full report after each vigil goes out – you just want a summary and photos at the end of the "run."  Use the second menu to book these at the quantity of your choice.

You are a new client, or an existing client with a new issue, and you want a consultation.  Use the first menu to book a new consultation.

You are an existing client and want a followup on an issue we’ve consulted about before, or a checkup on current work that has been ongoing for a while.  Use the second menu to book at a discounted followup rate.

All these examples have made it sound more complicated than it actually is – there aren’t all that many services available without a contract and prior consultation, so there aren’t all that many services available on these menus to be booked directly. So it’s not as confusing as I think I just made it sound 🙂  In any case, this should make life easier for those of you who want extensions on current or previous work.

Also, the new web store is currently being populated and, knock wood, should be online and fully functional in July. I will make an announcement of course, and probably do some kind of promotion or giveaway, but at long last, the day is actually coming where the website and new shopping cart will be ready to go and much more user-friendly!

status update and consultation/report queue

ETA: Current status queue updates are here http://karmazain.livejournal.com/106732.html
This post has "expired."
Continue reading “status update and consultation/report queue”

holiday closure dates + consultation/reading queue status

We are closed from Dec 20 through Jan 3.  (Yes, Dani, this means you have time off if you want it!)  Both the Bonanza store/booth and the eBay store have a "vacation" sign posted. If you finalize an order after midnight EST on Dec 20, the handling time for that order will begin on Jan 3 when we reopen.  This is posted on every eBay item page and on the store header at eBay.  I understand that at bonanza, items are simply unavailable for viewing when the vacation mode is on. I am unsure if I will be able to get the website updated in time due to circumstances beyond my control (my web guy's new, demanding day job), so if you placed an order from http://www.karmazain.com after Dec 20, and would like a refund rather than waiting until January for your item, then please email me directly at karmazain at gmail.com.  Put "refund request" in the subject line for fastest reply (I can only check email via cellphone when I'm back at the "old homestead," so I only skim new messages' subject lines for emergencies when I'm back home; therefore, if you have an emergency, it behooves you to craft a descriptive yet short subject line, and frankly, the shorter/simpler/to the point your message is, the better, too, if you want a fast response.  I will be on vacation, remember!). We will reply to correspondence and begin processing orders, in the order they are received, as soon as possible upon our reopening.  If you placed or paid for a purchase during our store closure, your handling time will begin on Jan 3 when we reopen. If you placed an order and completed payment before midnight EST on Dec 20, your order will ship before I leave town unless we discussed otherwise via email or private message (as in the case of complex custom orders). If you have a consultation order in already, I am doing my darnedest to get done with all in queue before I leave. Don't forget that the FAQ at the website and at eBay answers 98% of questions about shipping and item status/tracking.  Have a safe and happy holiday! Karma Zain *** Current consultation queue (I haven't heard back from some of you and worry that the message may not have gotten through and you are still waiting, so I'm posting the initials of the last few I've finished typing and sent along as well, so you should know where you stand if you have a consultation order in in the last few weeks and haven't seen it. If your initials are here saying "sent" and you don't have it, let me know ASAP so I can resend!):

  • C.M. placed 10/29 – complete and sent
  • K.H. placed 10/30 – complete and sent
  • H.C. placed 11/10 – complete and sent
  • J.J. placed 11/11 – complete and sent
  • B.F. placed 11/12 – complete and sent
  • P.V. placed 11/14 – complete and sent
  • K.K. placed 11/16 – complete and sent
  • C.C. placed 11/20 – complete and sent
  • T.V. placed 11/21 – working on it now, you'll get it tomorrow when I have slept and can proofread it
  • L.N. placed 11/21 – working on it
  • J.S. placed 11/30 – you'll get it this week
  • T.J. placed 12/2 – you'll get it this week
  • K.Y. placed 12/15 – you'll get it this week
  • K.Y. placed 8/19 and moved to lower priority behind other issues as discussed
  • K.Y. placed 11/14 and moved to lower priority behind other issues as discussed

Current readings queue (I'm sorry, y'all! You know my offer of a refund ALWAYS stands if I have not begun the reading. I am just slow as molasses on full readings; I'm your absolute worst bet for any kind of emergency or deadline with full readings).

  • A.P. – refunded
  • B.C. – I really was almost done before I got hit with a bunch of other shit, and now i need to double check that things haven't shifted radically before I tie it up and send it, but that's the matter of a quarter hour rather than an entire year's season 🙂
  • K.Y.
  • J.R.
  • J.S.
  • D.S.
  • B.F.
  • A.T. (I owe you at least one from way back; your call when)
  • F.P. (ditto, and the "reading as lesson" offer still stands too)
  • +B in Cali – I think you prepaid for about four or five years ago, and I am pretty sure you only called for one since then)

Commonly Requested Altar Work and Services

Since the new web design and store are not quite ironed out yet (sigh), I thought I’d write a post describing some of the more commonly requested types of altar work and spellwork.  I find myself answering the same questions over and over again and typing up the same info about price ranges and what spells include, and so I’m posting this so I’ll have a URL to refer people to so they can see photos and get an idea of how I work.

One day this stuff will have its own page with photos on the website, but this’ll have to do in the meanwhile, and in the meanwhile you can book any of the following services using the paypal menu at my userinfo pagePLEASE NOTE: If you are a new client or customer, meaning I have not already done altar work or a reading or consultation for you, and you want to book something other than a light setting, *I use contracts for all rootwork and altar work beyond light settings and mojo bags.*  I will have to write one up for your case and you will have to agree to its terms before I will accept your payment and begin work.  The contract spells out what you can expect and when, and it gives the fee for the altar work. This fee will not change; I will not write you a week into the work and say "I see you are miserably cursed; send me $1000 for a cleansing of your aura" or any garbage like that.  If something comes up in the course of the work that makes me think we need to adjust fire, I’ll contact you about it, but I will never take it upon myself to adjust contracted work without your agreement, and I will never say "I had to do X so you owe me another X amount of money."  If you are a new client and would like to see a sample contract before booking, I’ll be happy to send you one to look over so you can get an idea of how I work and what sort of responses you can expect from me.  If you are new to hiring a professional worker at all, you might have a look through my list of posts on client education, client info, frequently asked questions, etiquette and ethics, hoodoo education, principles of magic, and questions you’ve asked.

Please note that I do not take all cases that cross my "desk."  In fact, I turn away more cases than I take (largely because most of the queries that I get are for reconciliation in, or work on, a troubled relationship, and this means that a great number of people seeking spellwork are 1. desperate and hurting and 2. not coming from a background of familiarity with the principles of magic but are rather led to magic out of desperation over their love life, 3. have often tried other "spellcasters" before who operate a certain way and thus they expect everybody to operate this way, and thus they 4. often have unrealistic expectations and 5. get really offended and/or refuse to believe that there is not something unique about them, or their ex, or their case when a worker suggests that their expectations are unrealistic and/or success in their case is unlikely).  For the record, I do take the occasional reconciliation case.  I’d say I take 1 out of every 85 that come my way.  I require a consultation before I can say whether and how I can help, but often I know whether I will take the case or not based on the contents of the initial contact email, truth be told.  There are a lot of workers out there who are a lot more patient than I am about educating spellwork newcomers about the principles of said spellwork, so folks seeking reconciliation are usually going to be happier with one of those folks anyway.  For more on reconciliation, follow the tags.

So, my putting up a list of work that I often do doesn’t mean you can just push a button and that’s the end of it, the universe sends everything you want your way and it lands in your lap with a bow on top.  It doesn’t work that way.  If you are new to hiring a professional spiritual worker, and especially if you are new to conjure and hoodoo, please educate yourself before hiring me or any other worker to do spiritual work for you.  There are a ton of scam artists out there, and there are a ton of newcomers to the world of professional spellwork for them to scam every day. Don’t be taken in.  Perhaps counterintuitively, some of the major signs of a scam artist often include the infamous "Satisfaction Guarantee" and the less infamous, but once upon a time quite common, "Pay Half Now and Pay the Rest Only When You Are Satisfied" appeals.  These would appear to be a good thing – why they aren’t is too long a tale for this already-long post, but one of these days I’ll get around to posting about it. (This is not to say that these automatically mean scam, but combined with a few other signs, they ought to be Giant Yellow Lights for anyone.  Check out your worker’s rep.  Put the internet to work for you.)

Email consultations.  Read more about them here and here.  Turnaround time is typically about 14 working days.

Vigil Light Setting with Report .  You send me a one or two sentence petition, and the full names of any people involved in the petition as well as any photos you want me to use.  I fix, dress, and burn a customized 7 day vigil light for you, reporting on the results of the burn via email upon its completion.

Three-day taper settings (MWF), no report.  These are commonly used for maintenance of a honey jar or sour jar that you have working on my altars, though they can also be booked if you just want a petition set on my altar with a standalone taper light, three times a week for one week.  I report generally upon the work when it’s completed, but do not give a play-by-play on a daily or even weekly basis with this service.

Email followup on previous consult or ongoing work.  If you need a checkup on work you currently have contracted with me, or a followup on an earlier consultation, or even a checkup on work you’re doing for yourself that you’ve consulted with me about before, book a followup consultation rather than a brand-new one.

Email Readings.  Turnaround times are currently in excess of eight weeks, so I discourage new clients from booking them.  I can recommend a number of good readers who aren’t booked up as bad as I am and who can get back to you sooner.  If you don’t mind the queue and your question is not urgent, then you can book an email reading with me.

Custom Honey Jar, with 1 month work on my altar.
  You send me info about your situation, and I make a custom honey jar for you and work it on my altars for four weeks, setting lights on it three times a week (MWF, no light setting report).  Does not include shipping; at the end of the month we can discuss what you want to do next.


Uncrossing or Spiritual Cleansing via pendulum and censing on my altars.
  A photograph of the person to be uncrossed or cleansed is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair is highly recommended.  Contact me for instructions on how to mail the personal concerns.   If you want a 7 day run of spiritual cleansing or uncrossing work, then book seven of these.  If you need these timed to coincide with work you are doing on your end, such as a series of uncrossing baths, then please contact me before booking to make sure I can meet your needs in terms of scheduling.  Sometimes my altars are full or I have other work going on that has a tight schedule or timing to it.


Fiery Wall of Protection Spell.
  Standard, for one person.  Includes creation of protection mojo (technically a paket, as it cannot be opened once it’s ritually tied as part of its creation, and it’s a good bit larger than a mojo bag), shipping cost to a US address, and cemetery disposal of the ritual remains associated with your enemy or troublemaker. Please contact me before booking for options for having the spell worked for multiple protectees, as well as for options if you prefer a different type of disposal of the remains or prefer to have them mailed to you to dispose of yourself.  Can be worked without personal concerns, but they are highly recommended; contact me for instructions on how to mail them.  *If you are a brand-new client, especially if you are new to hoodoo, I strongly recommend you write to me and tell me a bit about your situation before purchasing this service.  This may not be the best spell for your case, and/or we may want to do a different type of ritual disposal depending on what you need protection from.*  If you are trying to call down hellfire and brimstone on your neighbor for parking on your side of the street, or you want to send an enemy to the graveyard spirits because they were rude to you at a party, I will probably refund your money and refuse the case.  So feel free to write first.

Moving Lodestone Attraction spell.  Includes creation of mojo bag and shipping, along with lodestone food and instructions, to a US address.  Suitable for those trying to draw a specific lover, to draw a new and unknown lover, or to bring two people together for other, non-romantic purposes (such as making a new friend, strengthening a friendship, getting an influential person to take your side in something,etc).  Personal concerns are highly recommended; contact me for instructions on how to mail them. 

Basic Binding spell, 7 day, with remains shipped to you with instructions for disposal. Binding spells of this sort are done to hold an enemy down to prevent him or her from taking further action against you.  Personal concerns are ideal but this can be worked even if the enemy’s name is not known.  You can use this spell even if you have multiple and/or unknown targets.  You should not, however, expect the same sort of results if you are working without a link to your target as you’d get it you were targeting a specific person with their personal concerns.  If you are trying to bind two people together for a love spell, or trying to bind a partner’s nature sexually, you must have a consultation before I will agree to take your case.  I do not accept the majority of love cases that people write to me about, but even if I will not take your case (and statistically there is a very good chance I won’t), I will probably be able to recommend another reader or worker to you who might speak with you about it, so don’t be afraid to write.

Basic Reversing spell, crossroads disposal.  These spells are to send nasty junk back on the person or people who are aiming it at you.  It is not, in itself, an uncrossing spell, and it is not, in itself, a revenge spell.  It is not really a complete protection spell either, in a lot of cases.  So it often needs to be done as part of a more complex set of actions or steps.  It may not be the best solution for your case, so please feel free to inquire before booking this service.  This spell uses a jumbo reversing candle set on a customized, fixed mirror and prepared with all the necessary reversing materia magica.  At the conclusion of the working, the remains are disposed of by me at a crossroads.  I have to drive out to the country to do this spell right, so do not expect your report within a few hours of the candle going out.  As with the above Binding spell, this can be done with or without personal concerns and known full names, but personal concerns are always better.

I do lots of other different types of spellwork, but these are by far the types of spells I do most frequently.  Even if you don’t end up going with something listed here for your spellwork, this should hopefully give you an idea of what to expect and what kind of fees are involved in typical cases.  Many customized workings will involve modifications to the basic types of spells mentioned above.  And while other workers’ preferences in setting up their altars, fee structures, contract terms, turnaround times, reporting styles, preferred methods etc. will vary, traditional rootworkers will usually offer similar types of spells, so this can be a good introduction to your research on having a rootworker cast a spell for you.

Some altar work, such as most light settings and mojo bags, does not require a consultation – or rather does not require you to book a consultation before I can begin your work.  You should always just write first and give me a (brief) intro to your situation, asking if this or that spell is right for you, if you need a formal consultation, if I have anything to recommend. Sometimes I can make a recommendation that won’t require you to book a consultation.  Most light settings and mojo bags can be booked with our trading a few emails, informally, rather than your having to order a formal consultation. And some types of altar work can be be booked the same way.  Anything involving  hexing, crossing, breakup, hot foot etc, OR involving an existing romantic relationship, is probably going to require a formal consultation, though.

But write before you purchase – you never know.

website updates, consultations

The Altar Work page on my website now has a functional shopping cart for everything that doesn’t require a consultation beforehand.  So it’s a one stop page for single-candle light settings, mojo bags, chicken foot charms, and pakets wanga.  We’re still working on some of the photo issues (I sent crummy photos which are not working out, and then the "pakets" box has a photo of a mojo bag instead of a paket right now), but all the paypal buttons should be working.

Anything not listed on the page with a "buy it now" button needs a consultation.  ANY breakup, crossing, goofering or revenge work needs a consultation.

And a note on consultations: I’ve had more than one person lately purchase a consultation without reading any of the text associated with that consultation.  I then have to ask them to read the text again and make sure this is the service they want, since they’re asking for stuff I don’t do (like call them on the phone). Then I have to refund their money.  All of this back and forth could be avoided if people would *read.*  On every site at which I offer the means to purchase a consultation with me, the copy makes it clear that

  • – these are EMAIL consultations, not phone consultations
  • – they are consultations, not full-length, in-depth readings
  • – clients need to allow 7 days turnaround time for completion, AFTER receipt of all the info I need (if it takes me two days to get all your info, your seven days starts then).  I will answer your email ordering the consultation within 24-48 hours, and ask for any info I need, but it might take me a few days to finish yours, as sometimes a bunch come in at once. 

Guys, if this were a full-length, in-depth reading, there is no way in hell you’d be getting it for $10 or $15, sorry.  I’m not just starting out.  I haven’t charged prices that low in 20 years.  And I HATE the phone.  I do not talk on it without a prior appointment being set up.

I apologize to those of you that read, and to those of you that have read this before; I’m mostly posting it for the benefit of newer blog readers who may not already know this stuff.

NOW, how about a hoodoo post?  Let me find y’all something by way of thanks for listening to me beat this "why don’t people read the item details" dead horse….