Questions You’ve Asked: Patron Saints Playing Favorites

Seraphin Station

A client is getting set up with some Law Keep Away work, some of which involves physical items being installed at the front entrance where a St. Michael paket has been living. She wonders if she needs to move/remove St. Michael, whom she petitions for physical and spiritual protection, since he’s “the patron saint of police and general law and order guy.”

What a great question!

Short answer, no. No need to remove St. Michael.

A fixed paket of the type I used to make for clients/customers, when I could still source those detentes for reasonable prices. I haven’t been able to do that since reopening, but I like them very much and I hope I can offer them again one of these days.

Longer answer explaining my rationale: for one, human beings declared him the patron saint of law enforcement – he didn’t proclaim himself that lol… and even…

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Flannel “Law Keep Away” Charm vs. Busted Tail Light “Law Attracting” Charm

Pro tip: the drawing power of the Busted Tail Light Law Attracting Charm is generally stronger than the protection power of the flannel Law Keep Away charm.

If you’re going to bother with a Law Keep Away charm, slow your roll for a minute and make sure you’re not also carrying something that can negate or overpower it. In addition to the Busted Tail Light, that includes the following Law Attracting charms, amulets, and words of power:

  • the “Non-functional Tag Light” charm
  • the “IDK When to Shut My Mouth” chant
  • the “I Hang Out With Stupid MFers” talisman
  • the Subwoofer “Whole Neighborhood Needs to Hear My Favorite Jams” rite
  • the “Lead Foot” amulet
  • the “Too Loud For This Paper Sack” charm

Give your rootworkers and your folk saints a little bit to work with, y’all.

Get custom-made pakets, mojos, and charms at

ETA: In response to a comment on FB where a reader said they were just thinking about checking all the lights on their older car, I responded:

In the military, we called it PMCS, preventative maintenance checks and services I think it stood for. (That’s been 20 years ago now so don’t quote me on that, but it was something like that.) And you had to do it every single time you checked out the keys to take a vehicle somewhere – go down the checklist, and turn in the checklist to get clearance to leave the lot with the vehicle.

It takes a few minutes, yes, but imnsho, anybody with an older vehicle should implement something similar and get in the habit of doing it *every single time they operate the vehicle,* as should anybody who:

– can’t find their insurance card

– can’t get their license renewed until next Tuesday or whatever

– has panic attacks when pulled over and thus immediately pings as looking guilty or acting weird to law enforcement

– travels with a dog who might be perceived as looking or acting threatening if they were to be pulled over

– is a member of a group who has historically been subject to targeting or profiling by law enforcement

– is giving a ride to someone they can’t be 7000% sure doesn’t have a stray forgotten anything in a jacket pocket

– just plain can’t afford the time to get pulled over

– is pretty bad about cleaning out their car and can’t be 7000% sure there’s nothing in it that might look weird to law enforcement

– has a warrant out for their arrest and hasn’t finished tidying up their business so they can go turn themselves in

– might have had even a speck of alcohol spilled on them wherever they’re leaving from

– has consumed even a speck of alcohol

– has any kind of criminal record

– etc etc etc.

Basically my point is there could be 100 very good reasons for you (generic you) to want to avoid interactions with law enforcement that don’t involve you actually intentionally committing a crime or being a criminal. I mean, who *likes* to get pulled over?? And so you really improve your odds of avoiding such interactions if you get in the habit of making sure your vehicle is 100% legal and road-safe Every Single Time. It takes a little time, but I think it’s time well invested!

ok, one more, and then I’m going to bed (black cat bone)

Hyatt’s HCWR, V. 2, “Medicine-Show Man” from Sumter, SC.

p. 1097: “De great mistake wit de people today dey take too long tuh find de black cat.  It do jes’ as well fo’ yo’ to ketch any cat and paint it black with any black powder or shoe polish.  Ghos’es is some way crazy ovah whiskey…dat whiskey is a witch’ry anyhow.  Anothah fine thing, doc.”

p 1100: “If yo’ kin git it, people take an’ use de thing dey call de black cat bone.  Dat’s kinda hard tuh git, though. De real way–de ole time way lak a ole 65 yeah ole fellah lak me– but de mos’ lucky bone in de world is de black cat bone.”

“De real ole-time way to git de bone is — yo’ ketch a black cat.” [Actually, the details of how to make the fire in the woods are a bit much for me to type, but of interest here is that he says 1. you can catch a cat and paint it black, as long as its black when you cook it, and 2. you need to put a lid on it after you throw it in the pot alive, or else “he’s goin’ have mo’ power den yo’ think, boy.”  Delightful.  Anyway, also of interest is, “It dont’ make no difference whether he’s black all ovah or not, but de back of him must be black from his haid to his tail — an his tail.”]

“…dere is a bone dat will come on top of de watah an all de othah bones really goin’ tuh sink.  Den yo’ take out dat bone whut come on top of de watah an’ dat’s worth a thousan’ dollahs to any man.”

p 1106: “On way — de ole time way of keepin’ de law out yore place is to — dat same black cat bone.  Yo’ take dat black cat bone an’ sew it up into some kind of a good stout cloth…an’ yo’ tack him up ovah yore do’.  In some cases, wherevah de black cat bone is kept, yo’ can afford to take a black cat bone an’ trace on a big cardbo’d jes’ de shape of dat black cat bone, an’ sew it up in a pad somepin lak a folding pocketbook, an’ tack it ovah de front do’ an’ one ovah de back do’, an’ dat keeps him out.  Some of de bones is very scarce — sometimes yo’ use dem as a substitute, but dey’s not quite as good as de real bone itself.  But yo’ can use it in cheaper form in dat way.”

Somebody remind me to post about the “graveyard snack.”