current store status and coupon codes

As of May 14, you can find goods and services in the following locations online:

www.Karma Zain.com now points to the new storefront – it’s shiny even though it still has a few bugs being worked out.

By way of apology for the bugginess, still not ironed out a month later due to all kinds of local craziness including more than one flood in the area, I have set up new coupon codes effective today (May 14) that you can use on any cart items at all (including services), throughout the shop, for the whole month of May:

may22 $22.00 off orders equal or above $100.00
may10 $10.00 off orders equal or above $60.00
may5 $5.00 off orders equal or above $30.00


Using Discount Codes:

“For direct payment gateways [this means if you use a credit card to pay through shopify payments], the discount code can be entered on page 2 of the checkout process when the customer has the opportunity to select a shipping method and enter in credit card information.

“PayPal Express, being an offsite payment gateway, works a bit differently. This is the PayPal Express Checkout’s workflow: when checking out, your customer goes to paypal.com right away, where PayPal collects his shipping and billing addresses. After that, the customer returns to Shopify where he picks a shipping rate, types in a discount code (if you have discount codes that are ‘active’), the price is updated accordingly and, on that same page, your customer gets to finalize his transaction.”

– from the Shopify user guide

I am working my way through the inbox backlog as quick as I can — see the latest status update post for more info about why the backlog is so awful right now (and it is seriously awful) and where you are in the queue for various things.

If you want something that hasn’t been updated in the new shop yet, holler at me – I’m happy to move your desired item to the front of the long queue of things that need manual updates before they can be released as inventory.

You can book Consultations at the storefront, using the appropriate category and selecting the type you want and then adding it to your cart and checking out. You can book light settings and altar work extensions at the storefront here and other types of altar work at my blog, Big Lucky Hoodoo, or at AIRR. (I am not very happy with the way I currently have the light settings page set up, as you have to read down through a mass of text to see the item/service descriptions right now, but it does work, and it will stay up/available even when I do change it.)

Getting the most “bang” for your buck: getting help when you’re on a budget

Q: A client on a budget has a few separate issues going on, some of which are big, messy, or long-standing; she wants to have a light set and writes to ask whether she should choose a taper light instead of a vigil light setting.

A: Maybe – while you would probably want to do some sort of spiritual work aimed at these other goals, since they are all going to require different approaches/specifics, and while taper light settings cost less to have set than vigil light settings do, I’m not sure if light settings are the best route for all your goals or not. While they rarely hurt, it sounds like money is a concern for you right now. So I would encourage you to try to get the most “bang” for your buck. Honestly, a taper light setting is inexpensive, but it’s also not a lot of “bang” when you are talking about big, complex, and/or longstanding situations. A vigil light setting would probably be better for two reasons:

First, it works for a week instead of a couple of hours.  That’s a lot more “pressure” or “juice” being put towards your goals spiritually, and is a better deal in terms of how much altar time your goals get per dollar spent. (Taper light settings are usually set before or during a crucial time, while other, longer-term work is ongoing. For instance, if you have a Crown of Success mojo bag and had some Crown of Success altar work done towards getting a new job, and you had an interview on Friday, you might have a taper light set the night before the interview. Or you might have a taper light set to give a quick, focused “boost” to some type of work you’re doing at home. But a single taper light, by itself, would generally not be what most workers would recommend for anything with deep roots or complex situations.) Second, a vigil light setting with report will give you more information about whatever goal it was set for. While it will not go into the same amount of detail as a consultation, it will give you a lot more detail than a taper light usually will.

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However, when you are talking about “bang for your buck,” the best value probably comes in with coaching sessions. These are good *if* you already know what the best route to take is, and *if* you are comfortable doing work on your own behalf. You could have a coaching session or consultation for advice/guidance that focused on Road Opener work you could undertake at home towards removing [x] obstacle, and the session would outline how to get or make the stuff you need and how to perform whatever kind of rite you decided on (such as a spiritual bath combined with light setting, or creation of a spell bottle combined with “fixing” your office with spiritual powders, for instance).

If you are not positive of the best route, and/or you are not already comfortable doing your own work, and/or you do want some type of feedback/advice but don’t want to wait on a consultation before having some spiritual work started, *then* my suggestion would be a vigil light setting first.

Readings; Consultations; Special Offers; Rush Services

ETA: As of Feb 2013, I am *not* accepting new clients for full, standalone readings. If you are not a new client, and you have inquired about and are ok with my turnaround time on full, standalone readings, you are welcome to book one. But for new clients, if we have not worked together before, we have to get to know each other a bit first if you want to wait on me for a full reading, *or* you can visit any of my recommended readers or my colleages at AIRR and Hoodoo Psychics. I need to know you a little bit before I’ll take you on as a reading client (a store customer is not necessarily a reading/rootwork client; if you have purchased products or supplies from me but have never had a consultation or done altar work with me, then you are a new client for the purposes of this service).

I am still accepting new clients for consultations. Because wordpress doesn’t like the embedded paypal code, you will have to visit the mirror site in order to book the following services.

If you are ok with the turnaround times, you can book below or at my userinfo page here using the first set of drop-down choices. The second set of drop-down choices is the same as it’s been, for consultations and commonly-requested altar work that doesn’t require contracts. I am offering a couple of options for RUSH readings and altar work, for a few select services, if you have an emergency, but it’s a good idea to write first just to double check that we are on the same page about the service and completion/delivery timeline.

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Full-length, In-depth, Stand-Alone Tarot Reading

***For Established Clients Only, Please****If you do not already have a file in my client filing cabinet with your name and previous session notes in it, then you are a  new client. If in doubt, feel free to write and ask. If I know you and we have spoken about more than postage, basically, you can probably book this service.*

One question or issue. Typically runs 2-4 single-spaced pages. I need your full name and date of birth, and the names and dates of birth, if possible, of other people you are inquiring about. This can be a general overview of your love life or spiritual health or life path; a look at the dynamics in a relationship; a look at larger patterns in your life for a general area of inquiry such “career” or “love life”; an analysis of the underlying causes, past, or roots of a current situation; a look at the past, present, and future of a situation; etc. Please see caveats elsewhere in this post about fortune-telling and turnaround time, which may be significant.

Delivered via email. $60.

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Mini Reading/Quick Checkup

*New clients may book this service as long as we have interacted before and your name is already in my database but not on my “yellow-light” or “do not serve” list; this is essentially a consultation, only without the rootwork advice or case assessment part.

Mini readings via Runes, I Ching, Geomancy, Knucklebones, Naipes Espanoles, Tarot, Voodoo tarot, saints’ cards, Stichomancy, Pendulum, Loteria cards, etc., as appropriate to the query. Typically run about 1 single spaced page. These are best when you need a quick look into a couple of areas, or a clearer look at one particular area or facet of an issue rather than a long 3D look at it from multiple angles.  These are usually along the lines of, and about the scope of, 3-card layouts, such as “past-present-future” or “path A-path B-Advice” or “you-the other-near future,” for instance. They are quite informative for many situations or queries, and are good for checkups and followup check-ins. They might be a bit inadequate for queries where you want a look at your relationship dynamic, at someone’s complex motivations, at how multiple possible paths could unfold in the nearer to longer-term future when you’re faced with a choice, stuff like that – for that sort of thing you’d likely be better booking a full reading. But you could also get a quick look first and then, if you decided any particular facet needed further inquiry or detail, you could book a followup on that facet – sometimes a mini reading gives you all you need for the time being (and I’ve had more than a couple of clients tell me that my mini readings are more detailed than they are accustomed to getting in regular readings from some other readers). One question or issue only. Please see related caveats in this post re. fortune telling (don’t ask me what day you will meet your future spouse or what color his shirt will be please; that sort of thing is a waste of both our time imo) and turnaround time (varies, but is the same as those for consultations).

Via email. $25.

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Reduced Rate/Followup Coaching

Generally, you should not book this service unless you’ve been told to. If you are seeking to have your case assessed for eligibility for the AIRR Pro Bono fund, you can book this reduced rate session as your intake reading. Please note that while pro bono intakes are sometimes called “ten-minute readings” or “$10 readings,” not all workers offer 10 min/$10 readings but they may offer some other reduced-rate option. I do not offer 10-minute/$10 readings (in part because 1. I only do consultations, not readings, for new clients, and I want to be consistent about my vocabulary so everybody knows what to expect; 2. my sessions are all via email, and because of that 3. they all take longer than ten minutes). But I am happy to do an “intake consultation” for you if you want to have your case assessed for pro bono eligibility; please realize, though, that my standard turnaround times apply. This is NOT a rush service.

You may also book this reduced rate session if your previous coaching session opens up a new avenue of inquiry or concern that was not on the table when you booked your session and you want more information. You may sometimes need to book a followup coaching session in order to pursue that new line of inquiry. A followup is not appropriate in all cases; some aditional queries need their own, brand new coaching session; some will need divination (which needs a followup consultation instead of a followup coaching), so please ask before booking this service.

Via email. $15

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RUSH Consultation: Within 72 Hours

If you have a time-sensitive issue, you can book this service and I guarantee to have my response to you within 72 hours (three business days) from receipt of 1. cleared payment, and 2. all photos/info I need to begin. Otherwise I will refund your fee. That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday, and then the 24th business hour would in that case be Monday at noon, not Sat at noon — weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first). In the rare event that I have my own emergency and I can’t meet the promised deadline, I will offer you a full refund even if I have already begun work on your consultation – if you book a rush service, I guarantee that you will get your initial substantive response from me within 3 business days or I will refund the fee.

Please also note that it may take a few more messages back-and-forth for the session as a whole to be completed — consultations generally involve some back-and-forth so we can establish what your best plan of action is given your available time and resources, what the divination recommends, and your comfort level in undertaking your own work — and that this back and forth may exceed the 72 hour timeframe. Subsequent quesions, clarification, or discussion after the initial response from me does *not* fall under the 72 hour deadline guarantee; I will tend to further questions or clarification as soon as possible after you send it, but the 72 hour clock does not apply. This service gets you a rush consultation, but you should not presume it therefore necessarily gets you a rush contract or rush altar work; the guarantee is for the initial consult only. Visit my Consultations page for more info about what they are, how they differ from standalone readings, what you can expect, etc.

**Please note** that this service is intended for time-sensitive things and for emergencies; if you don’t have a genuine deadline or crisis, I will probably refuse your booking and refund your fee. All of my client’s situations are important, and many have time-sensitive issues they are waiting on me for and they booked trusting I would get to them within the stated turnaround; I won’t bump time-sensitive consults of other clients for a new “rush” booking on something that is not a genuine emergency or critical situation. So try to put yourself in my shoes — and in others’ shoes — for a minute and realize that others have upcoming court cases, custody hearings, foreclosure they’re fighting, government-imposed deadlines they’re dealing with, etc. Make sure your situation is genuinely urgent and not something that could be handled just fine if you were a little more patient or if you weren’t in such an upsetting emotional place about it 🙂

One question or issue/one set of detailed instructions per session. Via email. $55.

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RUSH Uncrossing/Cleansing with Personal Concerns

Distance Uncrossing/Cleansing on my altars, using your personal concerns, via bathing, censing, and/or pendulum work depending on the available type of concern.  A photograph of the person to be uncrossed or cleansed is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair is highly recommended. You will receive a booking acknowledgment email telling you how to proceed. I guarantee to perform the work within 48 hours (two business days) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first). This is for one Uncrossing/Cleansing session (analogous to a single spiritual bath, for example); some situations may need more than one session, just as some cases need more than a single spiritual bath, but this service is most often booked to coincide with and “back up” baths taken by the client at the same time, rather than serving as a substitute. Folks will often book one distance session to start them off strong on a course of Uncrossing which they then proceed to complete on their ends, as usual, with self-administered spiritual baths. It is also used when folks are having work done on behalf of someone who will not participate in their own cleansing/uncrossing and need work done on their behalf without their participation.  For more information about how these work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description.

One person or one dwelling/building (ie, a single object or set of concerns on the altar, not multiple photos or objects) per session. $50.

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RUSH Protection Work with Personal Concerns

Distance Protection work on my altars, using your personal concerns, via bathing, censing, and/or pendulum work depending on the available type of concern.  A photograph of the person, place, or home to be protected is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair (or dirt from a property in the case of a home or work environment needing attention) is highly recommended. You will receive a booking acknowledgment email telling you how to proceed. I guarantee to perform the work within 48 hours (two business days) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first).This is for one Protection session (analogous to a single spiritual bath, for example); some situations may need more than one session, just as some cases need more than a single spiritual bath, but this service is most often booked to coincide with and “back up” baths taken by the client at the same time, rather than serving as a substitute.  It is also used when folks are having work done on behalf of someone who will not participate in their own cleansing/uncrossing and need work done on their behalf without their participation. This is not a substitute for a full Fiery Wall of Protection spell, but it’s good for sensitive and/or acute situations of short but intense duration, such as when a phobic person is flying on an airplane, or when a client is going into a bad neighborhood on a certain time/day, etc. For more information about how these work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description.

One person or one dwelling/building (ie, a single object or set of concerns on the altar, not multiple photos or objects) per session. $50.

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RUSH Light Set

If you need a light set fast, you can book this service and I guarantee to have it set within 24 hours (one business day) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first).  This is for one light setting, of a one-color, glass encased vigil candle which will be dressed, fixed, and blessed for your intention. The burning candle will be “read” and reported on, with a one-page emailed report including photograph.  This service guarantees your light will be set on my altars within one business day or your money back (it does not rush your report once the light is done burning, nor delivery of your photographs of the work in progress – it just expedites the setting of the light). For more information about how light settings work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description. Feel free to write first and make sure I’m not coming down with something or expecting company or whatever during your 24-hour period, if you like.

**Please note** that this service is intended for time-sensitive things and for emergencies; if you don’t have a genuine deadline or crisis, I will probably refuse your rush booking and refund your fee. All of my client’s situations are important, and many have time-sensitive issues they are waiting on me for and they booked trusting I would get to them within the stated turnaround; I won’t bump time-sensitive consults of other clients for a new “rush” booking on something that is not a genuine emergency or critical situation. So try to put yourself in my shoes — and in others’ shoes — for a minute and realize that others have upcoming court cases, custody hearings, foreclosure they’re fighting, government-imposed deadlines they’re dealing with, etc. Make sure your situation is genuinely urgent and not something that could be handled just fine if you were a little more patient or if you weren’t in such an upsetting emotional place about it 🙂

Set within 24 hours (one business day). $45.


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After You Book

When you book your service, you will receive a booking acknowledgment email giving you instructions on how to communicate with me about your booking/service and give me further info/photos, etc.  For a full reading, you probably cannot fit all the details and background info I’d need into the “note to seller” box. That is fine – don’t worry. Just wait until you get the booking acknowledgment email and then follow the instructions in it by replying to it. ***Please do NOT send a separate or second email giving me your question/issue and personal information, separate from your payment. Most especially, do not use the Contact form at the website to send your info before or after your payment. PLEASE wait for confirmation and instructions instead, and then reply to that confirmation email.***

Delivery of your Reading/Service

Please note that readings are done on a first-come, first-served basis, and by purchasing a reading, you are reserving your spot in line. If you are in a really big hurry, please visit AIRR, The Association of Independent Readers and Rootworkers, for a list of reliable readers. Or visit my Recommended Readers page for a list of other recommended readers.  I don’t like being pestered and it is frustrating for both client and worker when clients don’t read the directions. When you book, you will get a confirmation email and an estimated turnaround time, but it’s just an estimate. So if you are in a hurry, ask first. You may be happier booking a reading with one of my colleagues instead of with me.

My Philosophy as a Reader
(Readings are not Consultations)

I prefer not to do “what is the name of my future husband” and “on what day will such and such happen” inquiries – they are not really very suitable queries for the type of reading I do (and they’re frankly not terribly useful areas of inquiry in general, if you want my professional and personal opinion from over 25 years of experience doing this, but your mileage may vary – I’m just trying to give folks a snapshot of where I’m coming from, and I come from a practical place focused on what you can do to change your situation for the better, so I don’t see the point of having a reading just to have a thirty-minute session of wish-fulfillment/fantasy role playing. You could meet that tall dark stranger in 2030, sure, but WWIII could have started in 2029, or you could be already married to someone else by then, etc. – I don’t see the point in “fortune telling,” in other words). If you do need some sort of specific timeframe analysis, you need to book a full-length reading, no matter the type of inquiry, because I will have to use astrology for that; and so I will also need the times and places of birth of the parties in question, in that case. Even then, things are not set in stone and you are probably not going to get a calendar day for an event.

My readings are very detailed and usually pretty long – a full reading is sometimes overkill for simple inquiries, like if you just want a quick look at which of two job options is more promising in the area of short-term income, or if you want a quick diagnosis on whether someone is being upfront with you. A mini reading or quick check-in might do the trick in those cases, if you don’t need a look into the dynamics or an extended outcome.  If you aren’t sure what type of reading to book, feel free to write me with your inquiry and I can make a recommendation.

I give readings with the Tarot, a pictorial system of divination that tells a story — and as a reader, I work with you to interpret what that story is saying that you need to hear. This means that sometimes the cards will have something to say that you don’t think bears on your original question, or have something to say that you don’t like or expect. I am not brutal, but I am honest, so please be prepared if you choose to come to me for a reading. I can help you look at your underlying motivations, your karmic “checking account,” and the unseen influences at work in your life, relationship, career, and family situation. I specialize in in-depth email readings. I am not a mind-reader nor am I clairaudient, so if you want somebody to tell you your dog’s name or what you’re wearing, please go to someone else. If you want a thoughtful, insightful reading and are willing to participate in the reading, then contact me — I have a great deal of experience at seeing patterns of behavior and “getting at” underlying motivations. I am not here to “Wow” anybody with my “amazing psychic-to-the-stars!!11omg skills, or “no need to tell me a thing!” gimmicks; I am here to show them how to “Wow” themselves by getting to the heart of their experiences, seeing and releasing useless or harmful patterns of behavior, and seeing and capitalizing on positive patterns and energies. I don’t do mumbo-jumbo and fluffy teddy bears and fortune-cookie readings – I do practical, down-to-earth readings that leave you with a clearer picture of your situation and options and empower you to make better decisions for your success and well-being.

I believe we have control over our choices and our paths in life, and that free will is one of our greatest spiritual gifts (even though it’s also a source of tension and uncertainty in our limited material, human perspectives!). I will never tell you something MUST be, in a reading — I will only tell you what influences are working at present and where things are headed based on those influences. You have the power to shape your life and take positive action. I can help you use the Tarot as a map when you need guidance, but you’re driving!

Please feel free to ask about how I work or tell me a little about your situation or issue before booking, so we can be sure you and I are a good fit for your divination needs. I am best at readings that look at underlying motivations, thoughts, feelings, patterns, and dynamics. I will not tell you how many children you will have or what your college roommate’s name was or any of that cold-reading stuff.

I don’t advertise these services as a reader outside the context of rootwork consultations at AIRR or elsewhere anymore, because root-doctor work, creating and shipping my line of supplies, and consultations have taken up all my available time for some years now. But you can look here to see my profile and testimonials at one of the numerous third-party sites I used to work through back in the day when I got back to the States and began offering services online; it should give you some confidence that I’m neither a novice nor a scam artist.  (note: please do NOT try to book a service through the liveperson site – the greedy bastards decided to require application fees on top of the 45% they take off the top of any session conducted through their site, and they didn’t grandfather anyone in, so I do NOT have an active account there because I am NOT going to pay them to be listed there. Therefore I *cannot* reply to your message, take your call, or do readings on that site. I am giving the link just so you can see that I didn’t fall off the cabbage truck yesterday.)

status post – consultation, reading, and light setting report queue

The most recent status post/queue update for consults, reports, etc is at my livejournal here.

faq – things to know about getting new altar work established

Here are the instructions I send out when clients book new work:

I’ll need you to send the following as a response to this email:

1.  the full name and date of birth of any people being inquired about, including yourself.  If you included this information in the “note to seller” box on the paypal payment page, then there is no need to resend — you can scroll down to see a copy of the information I received with your paypal payment.  If you have anything to add to this information below, please send it as a response to this email.  If you sent a separate email containing this information, please resend that info as a response to this email.  (The reason I ask this is that if I have to go through a bunch of emails and threads to locate your info and piece together your query, it increases the risk for confusion, omission, and misunderstanding, and it also increases the time it will take for me to prepare and send you your consultation.)  I cannot work with the same precision without full names and dates of birth.

2.  any photos you would like me to have in order to do the reading portion of your consultation.  Please do not ask me to visit websites or stalk your targets on social networking sites to obtain pictures; I need you to download any photo you want me to use and then email it to me. Also, please clearly identify every person in the photograph and let me know if I need to crop anyone out.  Please send photos as a response to this email instead of sending a new email or asking me to dig through old messages. I can work without photos if you do not want to send one or don’t have one handy.

3. a brief statement of the issue, question, or situation on which you are seeking consultation.  You do not have to give me a long litany or life story, though you may give me as much information as you are comfortable sending me.  It is quite helpful, even if you do send a lot of information, if you could please try to sum up your main concern or question in a sentence or two, to sort of introduce your additional information, so that I am clear on what is most important to you; consultations are very targeted and very practical, so it’s usually NOT a good idea to try to get twenty different very specific questions out of one consultation.  So a short statement encapsulating your main concern or goal helps me ensure I address that concern or goal specifically.  Please note, however, that as with photos and name/DOB info, I do ask you to send anything you want me to consider in your consultation as a response to this email, for the reasons outlined above.

I know you guys are eager when you are ready to start your altar work, and I know that some of you secretly think I’m being a pain in the ass when I ask you to follow the instructions you receive upon booking new work.  Why, you think, should you have to send me the photos again when you just sent them to me last month?  Why can’t I just get them out of that old email?  Why, you think, does it matter if you send the petition in one email versus another?  Why can’t I just look in the other email?  Why in the world am I so hung up on people replying to messages instead of sending second messages with a different subject line?  If I don’t see the info in that message, surely I know I can just click the other message that was sent just a couple of minutes later, right?  What does it matter if the petition is four sentences versus two?

Emails

Most of these problems would be solved if people would stop for a second, and imagine an inbox filled with fifty versions of “hi do u do spellwork and can give me a free spell about my boyfriend plz hurry its an emergency and no1 will help me please help”.”  Then they could recite the following mantra: “I am not her only client.”  And maybe “She has a system for a reason.”   So NO, I do not see one email and immediately cross-reference it with the other fifty emails you’ve sent me in the past eight months.  I get a vast number of messages every day, and I deal with an awful lot of paper.  I do not take on more work than I have room or time for, but even so i cannot reasonably be expected to keep every little detail in my memory or to remember which of those messages had the photo in it. I will be happy to go digging for that info and match up all the different threads and emails, but you are going to be waiting for no good reason while I do it.

The instructions I give folks when they book new work are given for a reason, and it’s not because I’m just cranky or on a power trip.  I’m not cranky at all when folks follow the instructions.  But some of the stuff some clients have pulled lately – woohoo, takes my breath away.  So I am going to type a post about it once and for all, because I am simply NOT going to write another email explaining it.  I will just give this URL to people who ask me if the instructions apply to them.

So here are some guidelines that anybody should keep in mind when establishing new altar work, whether they are working with me or not.  This article is part of the “how to be a good client” series (aka, how not to get fired by your rootworker).

When sending personal concerns:

* DO send me hair, fingernail clippings, bits from a napkin or straw that the target’s saliva got on, small scraps of clothing that have been pre-trimmed into small, usable sizes, photos, and/or dirt taken from a target’s foot track.  Send these things in small plastic bags, and put the name of the applicable person on the bag. Put something in the letter or note accompanying the concern that clearly gives me your name and your email address at the very least, and ideally includes a copy of the receipt for your work, our email exchange about what you were sending me, a copy of the contract, or *something.*

* Do NOT send me loose, unlabeled personal concerns, and Do Not send me sexual fluids.[*]  If I am making you a mojo bag, then I do not need a big hunk of hair, or an entire shirt, or an entire sock, or an entire soda can, so please trim the concern down appropriately.  No, I do NOT want the plastic  bag full of used pantiliners you’ve been keeping in your freezer, and I do NOT want the wad of tissues you’ve been collecting in your nightstand drawer next to the lube.  If it would be put in a biohazard bin at the doctor’s office, then I DO NOT WANT IT.  If your neighbor would want to wash his hands after touching it, then please stop and think before sending it to me in the mail.  I swear, some folks do not extend to us rootworkers the courtesy they would extend to the guy who cleans the bathroom at the gas station.

If you stop for just a second and think and try to put yourself in your worker’s shoes, you might realize that we get dozens of envelopes from clients every month.  I might have fifteen honey jars on my altars right now.  I might have six or ten client files in my “pending” area waiting on personal concerns to come in the mail.  If you think I’m going to open an envelope with nothing in it but a wad of cloth or tissue and 1. know immediately what person in what case in what file to put it with, 2. just cheerfully reach in and touch GOD-KNOWS-WHAT with my bare hands, you are just not thinking, and you are not being a smart client.

You are especially not being a smart client because I KNOW that if we discussed you sending me personal concerns, then I specifically told you to send non-bodily-fluid concerns, AND to send the concerns already in pieces or sections small enough for me to use with no further alteration, AND to send them in separate plastic baggies.  I KNOW I told you that if there is more than one person involved in your case, then you need to label the baggies – unless you want me to GUESS.  Do you really want me to guess when it comes to your rootwork? 

Please folks.  The instructions are not there to make your life harder or as a means for me to be a bitch. They are there to help you get the best, most accurate, and quickest service (and they are there to keep me from getting overwhelmed, grossed out, or stricken with hepatitis or something).  If you got an envelope full of crusty tissue or random dirty clothing in the mail, would you touch it?  No?  Then what makes you assume that I will?

SO. When sending personal concerns, do not send biohazard material.  Send concerns pre-trimmed into small, usable pieces appropriate to their destination if instructed to do so; at the very least, before you send that entire t-shirt, ask your worker what he or she needs and can use. You do not want a cranky worker, and you don’t want a sick one either.  If you follow the instructions, you will get quicker service and your work will be accurate, and things will go smoothly, and I will have more time to prep and tend your work.

When booking work or light settings with emailed “concerns” or petitions:

When you book a light setting, service, or consultation with me, you get, as a reply to your payment receipt, an email outlining the next steps you should take.  If you do NOT follow these instructions, then it is going to take a lot longer for your work to get started. That booking acknowledgment email will always ask you to send your photos, petition, info etc as a response to that email.  Just hit reply.  That is the goal, to have you just hit reply.

This keeps your info in the same thread, associated with the payment that initiated your new case/booking.  Some clients think that because they have been clients for a while, they can ignore the instructions, because surely they don’t apply to them – they’ve been a client for so long, and we were just talking about this case in another thread just yesterday, and we are friends (etc).

Especially established clients who are booking additional light settings:

But it’s actually *worse* when it’s established clients that do not follow the instructions.  If it’s a new client, I probably only have a couple of emails tops from them in my files.  I can match the petition to the payment with a fairly quick search, most likely.  But not with established clients.  Y’all established clients who have asked me “Do I need to send you the photo again?”, I want y’all to stop a sec and think of all those emails you’ve sent me over the last weeks or months or years.  Really think.  Now, imagine I get an email from you vaguely referencing some work I vaguely remember you mentioning before. I can’t be sure of the details without those other emails in front of me, though, because I’m NOT A MENTAT, and you haven’t associated the email with the payment that initiated your new case, and you haven’t hit reply to the instructional email I sent you, so it does not pop up in my inbox with the nifty tagging-and-flagging system I have set up so that I immediately know when a client petition or photo I’m waiting on comes in.

No, you don’t follow the instructions so that your email gets my *immediate attention* because it is a *pending file* on a paid case which means I may be opening my email specifically to look for *your email* so I can start *your work.*  Instead, you send a second email with a new subject line, or for some completely illogical reason, you send it as a reply *in another thread entirely* where we were talking about the case that was not at that time open yet, or talking about how your last light setting went, or something else.  If you send it as a reply in another thread, like the one that evolved from your last light setting, that thread might be tagged-and-not-flagged, because the tag is “work completed.”  That means it is most assuredly not getting flagged as a top priority in my inbox. Meanwhile, your pending work is pining away in my file waiting to be responded to so that it gets a bright yellow tag next to it telling me I can start your work.

Each new booking is a new file and a new beginning, in terms of organizing your info:

I encourage clients to think of the payment acknowledgment email as the beginning of a new file.  It does not exist prior to that email, and it is created when payment is received.  All the stuff that pertains to that case needs to be kept in that file.  Can I go through old emails and move old info to the new file? Sure. But you probably don’t have fifty open rootwork cases, nor twenty rootworkers clamoring for your attention, nor a stack of papers by your elbow waiting on new info to come in so orders and bookings can be processed.  So it makes sense for you to put the info you want to associate with that new case in the proper file – reduces the risk of error, omission, and confusion.

How my inbox tagging and flagging system works:

The way orders are processed means that if you do not send the info as requested, as a response to the email in the same thread that your payment acknowledgment is in, but rather send it in a new email (or worse yet, in an old email thread that already has a label like “work finished and filed” on it because we were having a conversation in the thread associated with a light setting I did a month ago), then your message containing photos, petition etc are just floating around in the inbox with the hundred or so emails I;ve gotten in the last few business days.  Meanwhile your new booking is still in the “pending” file with a label showing that I’m waiting on the info from you to begin.

I answer regular incoming emails in the order they are received, and I get a boatload, y’all.  But emails coming in that are related to a current, open case for paid rootwork damn straight get opened ahead of other emails.  When you send the info according to the instructions, then they pop up flagged in my inbox so that I know to go straight to them because they relate to pending altar work.   The instructions are there to help the client get their work faster and ensure  there are no mistakes, and that the proper petition, photo, etc is associated with the proper light setting every time.  I swear to God that is why they exist. I swear to God they do not exist because I want to drive my clients away with my nitpicky rules.

Bottom Line:

The instructions are there to help the client get their work faster and ensure  there are no mistakes, and that the proper petition is associated with the proper light setting every time.  I don’t ask y’all to hit reply because I need to reread my own booking acknowledgment instructions that I sent you; I ask y’all to hit reply because I need the info to come in associated with the current altar work, not the altar work you booked on Sep 4 and that was closed out on Sep 24.

And as for “I’m sure you still have the photos, so I won’t bother resending them,” it just does not work that way.  We USE the photos you send us. We write on them, put oils on them, set things on them. They get bent, they get sticky, they get wax drips. They may be burned, bent, folded, spindled, or mutilated, depending on the work.  And as for “I’m sure you can just reprint them,” it just does not work that way either.  I’m going to use a recent light setting client as an example really quick here – I just opened her file in my gmail account. She’s been a client for a bit over a year.  There are 55 email threads in her file.  Some have two or three messages in them.  Some have 35 messages in them. Some have 70 messages in them. Most have between ten and twenty.  And just for fun, she writes from one account but makes paypal payments from another account.

Do you really want me to sit here and spend twenty or thirty or forty minutes going through several hundred messages looking for that petition or that photo, redownloading it, and reprinting it?[**]  Or would you rather take ten extra seconds to attach the photo again so that I can spend that twenty or thirty minutes *starting your altar work*?  It really is up to you!

Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood rootworker who has just written all this out for the very last time 🙂  Happy hoodooing, and I’ll try to put up a more entertaining and less didactic post as soon as I get caught up with all these light settings that have been “pending” for four, five, even seven days waiting on client petitions or photos:-)


[*] There are reasons for you to send me things associated with sexual activity in some rare cases. Most of the time this stuff can be handled or added on your end.  But in those cases where you are sending a concern even remotely related to sexual fluids, I guarantee you are going to get very specific instructions ahead of time, and we are going to discuss it in detail, and if you then do not follow the instructions, you have just wasted all that transit and waiting time sending me stuff I will not touch, never mind use.

[**] Yes, I have tried creating folders on my computer and collecting client info in them as it comes in, so for returning clients I can just go to the folder to reprint a photo or double-check the spelling of a target name.  But y’all don’t always keep the same hair color, or the same names for that matter, and you don’t always keep the same targets, and you don’t always keep the same petitions, and over the years I have found that having clients simply give me the info they want me to use in any new case is the best option.

status update and consultation/report queue

ETA: Current status queue updates are here http://karmazain.livejournal.com/106732.html
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FAQs – spellbooks? using oils? and how long will candles take to work?

Q: A customer asks how long a candle will take to work, how to use the oil s/he bought, and whether a spellbook is necessary to do hoodoo.

A: There is no way I can answer a question about how long a candle is going to take to work – it depends on the situation. If you are lighting a single votive candle for a million dollar lottery win, I’d be pretty surprised if it ever worked. If you are lighting it as part of a larger and continuing working to improve your business, you should generally see some signs of positive movement within a month or so if the spellwork you’re doing is going to work, or else you ought to adjust the way you’re working or get a reading.  A sign might be an omen, or just an increase in foot traffic even if you haven’t seen the sales at the level you like yet, or an offer from somewhere for some good word of mouth or low-cost advertising – some sign that things are moving in the desired direction.  (See the comments section for some sage words: it’s probably not going to be the hand of God writing a message to you in the fog of your bathroom mirror.  If that happens, please call me.  I would like to hire you.) 

If you see nothing, it’s time to adjust fire. If you’re burning candles to change a very longstanding situation, though, or work towards something huge like the sale of a home, a month just might not be long enough. There are too many variables in anybody’s case for anybody to be able to tell you how long a candle burning will take to work, or even if it will. Spellwork just doesn’t work like that, and you’ll probably find that many rootworkers will say they do their work but are always careful to phrase things “if it be God’s will.” 

If all you’ve done is have a light set for you, and you and your worker have not gone over your situation and how it got the way it got in any depth, and/or your worker has not read on the situation for you, then a few words of caution may be order:

“How long will this candle take to work” is a nearly impossible question for me to answer before the candle burns, without having done a reading for you and without having any background on how things got like this and without knowing what other spellwork you are doing.  A one day light setting that burns for a few hours is not going to change a long-standing situation all that much by itself, in many cases, and certainly not quickly.  Most of my clients who order one day taper or votive settings do so to have them set three times a week for several weeks running, on a honey jar or sour jar, or else to be offered as thanks  to God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, saints, angels, spirits, etc. for favors granted.  One-day light settings (or, more often, vigil lights) are often used as backup work or kick-starts to other types of spellwork being done by the client, or perhaps spiritual baths being done by the client, as the rootworker “backs up” the work or baths on his or her altars. 

However, keep in mind that candle burning spells often report on themselves and give you information about what you can expect; any indications like this that come through in the burning would be reported on upon its completion.  So the candle both influences the situation AND reports on the situation.  Here’s some description from one of my eBay listings:

The burning candle will be “read” and reported on via a process known as ceromancy. 

What the heck is ceromancy?

When rootworkers and spirit workers burn candles for client petitions, we pay attention to how the candle burns.  Does it burn faster than usual?  Does it sputter?  What do the shapes in the wax tell us?  Does the flame blacken the glass?  These signs tell us something about how the work is going to go and what conditions are surrounding the situation.  Ceromancy is the reading of the wax, and by extension, of the process of the candle-burning itself.

This listing is three-part.

Step one: Order your candle burning service.  You must include your name and DOB and at least a few words about the situation you would like a candle burned for, so I know how to make the name papers or petition, which colors to choose and which oils and herbs to use to anoint the candle, and what to watch for.  Your candle is dressed with appropriate oils and herbs, blessed, and burned on the appropriate altar.

Please allow me to select your candle color and/or type in consultation with you for appropriate saints, specific tricks, etc as I work within the traditions of Southern-style conjure and rootwork; color correspondences from other traditions, such as Wicca, often do not apply.  Some typical options:

  • St. Joseph candle for things relating to the home
  • St. Expedite candle for luck in a hurry
  • Five Finger Grass candle for success in anything you do with your hands
  • Uncrossing candle for removal of negative junk in your life
  • Money Drawing candle for, well, money drawing
  • Road Opener candle for removing obstacles

Step two: Your candle burns.  I read the burning.  The commercially available seven day candles typically burn for 5-7 days but may burn longer or shorter.

Step three: I send you an email report of observations and a photo of your light in progress, after ritually disposing of your spell remains in an appropriate manner.  

Here’s what a candle burning service is good for:

– attracting love, luck, money, business, friendship, etc into your life
– banishing unwanted influences
– working to get rid of troublesome people
– dedicating a new resolution and blessing it (such as the commencement of a new job or diet program)
– blessing for new home or baby
– attracting
– calling on the aid of a saint or spirit

Here’s what a report might indicate:

– working and situation are favorable
– further work is advised
– there is competition or spiritual interference
– one person is more interested than the other in reconciliation
– results will be quicker than anticipated

Here is what a candle wax reading is NOT going to tell you:

– on what date will I meet the person of my dreams?
– what color hair will my next lover have?
– what kind of car should I buy?
– should i take job x or y?

Often a light setting will indicate that more work is advised, though just as often it will indicate favorable influences.  This is NOT a scam and I will never send you your report with a note that says “You are cursed miserably; you must pay me a thousand dollars to have your aura cleansed.”  (You should run away from anybody who who responds like that.)                                                                                                       

THIS SERVICE BOTH CALLS WHAT YOU DESIRE INTO A SITUATION *AND* REPORTS ON THE INFLUENCES SURROUNDING THAT CALLING.  However, it is first and foremost a candle spell; if you are seeking in-depth information on your situation, you will want to book a reading or consultation instead of this service, or in addition to this service.  The candle wax reading reports on the present and future of the situation for which the candle is being burned, and it reports on its own success and/or any obstacles it encounters in the process.

ETA: the Ninja Cat has a post talking about signs that is well worth a read.  Scroll down to the “let the sign find them” part.

Regarding how to use a product: 

I don’t send instructions for anything that doesn’t say it comes with instructions (and that’s mostly just bath salts, as lighting a candle is fairly self-explanatory, but taking a spiritual bath isn’t). There are as many ways to use these items as there are people using them.

For candles, generally people carve their names and petitions on them, unless they set them on photos or name papers, or unless they affix photos to the candle itself. But beyond that – fancy altars, no altars, saints, no saints, powders, no powders, one day burn right through, burn a bit for seven days – the possibilities are nearly endless. My supplies are building blocks, but the architectural plans are yours.  I am always happy to comment briefly on any plan you have for a spell that you want my feedback on; if you bring me an idea and ask for feedback, I can probably answer.  If you write me asking me to give you a spell, you’re probably going to be disappointed.  Even when I do give “instructions,” that terminology is a bit misleading because it implies a “one correct way to do things.”  So I think of these “instructions” more as “suggestions” than “instructions” in the majority of cases. 

Regarding books:

No book is necessary. Rootwork is not a bookbound tradition but an oral tradition (that doesn’t mean nobody read or reads books, it just means that this is not your whole “passed down the grimoire full of sigils that must be drawn just so and rhymes that must be said just right” tradition). The book you are most likely to find an old time rootworker using most often is the Bible.