status update (or why my answer is always “you’ll get the report just as soon as it’s ready”)

I’m still not caught up from the backlog due to weather/~3 weeks offline. But I want to illustrate why all of my handling/turnaround times are estimates only and a service can take longer than expected. [1]

I just finished a reading that a client booked last month.

The typed reading was 7,000 words long.

If I were still a freelance editor or writer working in Times New Roman 12 point font with 1″ margins, that would be 14 single-spaced pages.

It wasn’t some special “next five years” or extended birthday reading. It was just a regular old Tarot reading. But it was an incredibly important issue for the client and a pretty complicated situation with a lot of moving parts connected in sometimes quite subtle ways. And the cards were really digging into some nooks and crannies. I had no idea it was going to end up being that long. But that’s where the reading went, so that’s where I went, and that’s how long it took.

And that’s how I work. You’re reserving your spot in line when you place an order. Just like every other client, you’ll get your report or your stuff when it’s your turn in the queue. And when it’s your turn, you’ll get my full personal attention, just like every other client, and that takes as long as it takes.

Every item and service listing explains that my handling/turnaround times are estimates only, as do the site Terms of Service and the FAQ, and they explain that I do not give play-by-plays or answer emails asking, “just checking to see when it will be ready.” If you’re asking that, you didn’t read the item details/TOS. So when I get to your “just checking” email in the queue, I’m gonna cancel your order and send you a refund if I haven’t started work on it yet, ’cause we aren’t gonna be a good fit to work together.

But I promise you, if you are waiting in the queue and your reading or service or reply or order is later than you expect, *I have a good damned reason.* And I assure you that when it’s your turn in the queue, you’ll get that same personal attention.

To those of you who are waiting patiently, I very much appreciate your understanding and I am not taking your patience for granted. I’m steadily working on getting caught up and I am very grateful for your patronage and trust. ❤

[1] This isn’t even touching on how long it takes me to make it through the various inboxes of all the various platforms and sites, and my God, there are a lot of them, and I have ADD and a farm to look after, and I need a virtual assistant. I’m not even kidding. Email resume and references to karmazain at gmail if you’re interested.

status post – consultation, reading, and light setting report queue

Note – this post is not the latest/current queue status report  – see the latest status report here.

Current ebay message queue: (NOTE I have a 48 hour -two business day – turnaround time on ebay messages, which is in accordance with ebay standards.  I am not open on weekends or federal holidays and they do not count toward the 48 hours/two business days. If your email involves a lot of typing or my looking something up, it may take longer – I’m not, y’all. If you don’t hear from me within two business days, I promise it’s not personal; I could be behind from answering every single question that comes across my desk, and I get a ton of them, or yours could be taking longer due to my having to look something up for you or list something for you, or I could be in the emergency room with my child, but I guarantee you I have a good reason, and it has nothing to do with wanting to blow off clients. If you’re going to get pissy about such things, you’ll want to shop elsewhere.  If you have been blocked from bidding, though, I don’t read or answer your messages anymore – see below).

I have blocked a lot of bidders lately for being unreasonable, rude, and/or not reading the damned item listing and payment acknowledgment email.

Read more about how to get blocked…

holiday closure dates + consultation/reading queue status

We are closed from Dec 20 through Jan 3.  (Yes, Dani, this means you have time off if you want it!)  Both the Bonanza store/booth and the eBay store have a "vacation" sign posted. If you finalize an order after midnight EST on Dec 20, the handling time for that order will begin on Jan 3 when we reopen.  This is posted on every eBay item page and on the store header at eBay.  I understand that at bonanza, items are simply unavailable for viewing when the vacation mode is on. I am unsure if I will be able to get the website updated in time due to circumstances beyond my control (my web guy's new, demanding day job), so if you placed an order from after Dec 20, and would like a refund rather than waiting until January for your item, then please email me directly at karmazain at  Put "refund request" in the subject line for fastest reply (I can only check email via cellphone when I'm back at the "old homestead," so I only skim new messages' subject lines for emergencies when I'm back home; therefore, if you have an emergency, it behooves you to craft a descriptive yet short subject line, and frankly, the shorter/simpler/to the point your message is, the better, too, if you want a fast response.  I will be on vacation, remember!). We will reply to correspondence and begin processing orders, in the order they are received, as soon as possible upon our reopening.  If you placed or paid for a purchase during our store closure, your handling time will begin on Jan 3 when we reopen. If you placed an order and completed payment before midnight EST on Dec 20, your order will ship before I leave town unless we discussed otherwise via email or private message (as in the case of complex custom orders). If you have a consultation order in already, I am doing my darnedest to get done with all in queue before I leave. Don't forget that the FAQ at the website and at eBay answers 98% of questions about shipping and item status/tracking.  Have a safe and happy holiday! Karma Zain *** Current consultation queue (I haven't heard back from some of you and worry that the message may not have gotten through and you are still waiting, so I'm posting the initials of the last few I've finished typing and sent along as well, so you should know where you stand if you have a consultation order in in the last few weeks and haven't seen it. If your initials are here saying "sent" and you don't have it, let me know ASAP so I can resend!):

  • C.M. placed 10/29 – complete and sent
  • K.H. placed 10/30 – complete and sent
  • H.C. placed 11/10 – complete and sent
  • J.J. placed 11/11 – complete and sent
  • B.F. placed 11/12 – complete and sent
  • P.V. placed 11/14 – complete and sent
  • K.K. placed 11/16 – complete and sent
  • C.C. placed 11/20 – complete and sent
  • T.V. placed 11/21 – working on it now, you'll get it tomorrow when I have slept and can proofread it
  • L.N. placed 11/21 – working on it
  • J.S. placed 11/30 – you'll get it this week
  • T.J. placed 12/2 – you'll get it this week
  • K.Y. placed 12/15 – you'll get it this week
  • K.Y. placed 8/19 and moved to lower priority behind other issues as discussed
  • K.Y. placed 11/14 and moved to lower priority behind other issues as discussed

Current readings queue (I'm sorry, y'all! You know my offer of a refund ALWAYS stands if I have not begun the reading. I am just slow as molasses on full readings; I'm your absolute worst bet for any kind of emergency or deadline with full readings).

  • A.P. – refunded
  • B.C. – I really was almost done before I got hit with a bunch of other shit, and now i need to double check that things haven't shifted radically before I tie it up and send it, but that's the matter of a quarter hour rather than an entire year's season 🙂
  • K.Y.
  • J.R.
  • J.S.
  • D.S.
  • B.F.
  • A.T. (I owe you at least one from way back; your call when)
  • F.P. (ditto, and the "reading as lesson" offer still stands too)
  • +B in Cali – I think you prepaid for about four or five years ago, and I am pretty sure you only called for one since then)

testimonials, status report, updates, consultation queue

The AIRR tech team folks are telling me that I need to update my AIRR listing with testimonials.  I have never solicited testimonials and I don’t have any.  

I realize that I have probably lost a lot of fans over the past few months what with various crazy-ass things coming up, planned and unplanned, multiple trips out of town and family business, and a whole bunch of "day job" stuff, that have meant my presence has not been as consistent as it used to be. 

But if any of y’all I’ve worked for or read for have a second to share a sentence or two about my work, or want to give me permission to use a sentence or two from emails you’ve sent me, I sure would appreciate it (I would of course remove any identifying info, and they’d be signed with initials only, so your privacy would be respected).  If you do have a sec and wanted to email me at karmazain@gmail dot com, that would be so very much appreciated.

If you want to let me have it for pissing you off, you can do that, though I probably won’t read just yet as I have a shitton of stuff to do before I leave Saturday.

Meanwhile, don’t forget there are only 24 more hours for the raffle-that’s-not-a-raffle and the jewelry sale (see last two posts for info), and that’s all there’ll be product-wise ’til August.

Finally, when I was zipping back and forth between three states for a couple of weeks there, I refunded just about all the readings and consultations I had in queue since I was not able to give a definite date on when I could finish them.  I wasn’t online long enough to do more than check for emergencies for a few weeks there, so I got real far behind in communication and am still not caught up.  HOWEVER, one of the benefits about not doing any altar or formula work for a while, since I won’t be around my altars or herbs or oils, is that I will have more time to spend actually typing and laying cards. I don’t figure I’ll be online every day while I’m traveling, but I figure I’ll be caught up on readings and consults in queue within two weeks, and can probably handle a few more for folks who don’t mind working through email. But more on that when I get a sense of what my daily demands will be for the rest of the summer.  I will be pretty busy, so things won’t be quite back to where they were last year in terms of turnaround time (and I won’t be able to do anything but regular old card or pendulum work – nothing requiring any special equipment, altars, locations, or offerings), but they should get a hell of a lot better than they were the last few months, anyway.

SO if I refunded your consultation or reading fee but you still want insight on the same issue, holler at me – I still have your notes if you emailed them, and I will bump you to the top of the queue of any new incoming bookings and tell you how to make sure you get the discounted consultation rate instead of the regular rate.  Be sure to mention that I told you you could have a discount on account of my canceling your previous booking, or else I might not remember.

Current reading/consult queue, in order they are being done:

P.M. (2 of 2)

Current work and/or light reports in the process of being typed up and/or documented, forthcoming soonest:

J.R. (two)

Booked ages ago for some uncertain point in the future "when things settle down" or "when we can get together face to face" or "when something comes up::

+ B. (I know I owe you at least one from when you booked a "sixpack" a couple of years ago!)

Thanks again for reading and commenting, and for bearing with me these last few months as things went a little sideways a few times, and I wish you all a happy Summer.  I sure do appreciate y’all.