Readers/Readings

As I’ve mentioned a few times lately, I’ve been kinda running around like a chicken with my head cut off these days and I’m definitely not the fastest with readings and altar work reports at the moment.

If you’re in the market for a reading and don’t want to wait on my slow ass, I’ve got two recommendations for you today.

The first is my cousin Lindsey on the Louisiana Creole side of the family. Young but no fool, she’s insightful and sensitive, and she’s doing donation-based readings right now. Contact her through her Facebook.

She can also look at your astrological transits – a service I offered with readings once upon a time way back in the day but no longer offer because it makes readings take three times longer than they already do, in part because astrology induces brain fog in me. Unlike me, Lindsey actually *likes* and is excited about astrology lol. In fact, she’s begun producing her own line of astrological archetype essences. Find out more about that at her Archetypal Essences page on Facebook.

The second is my friend Kat aka creepmouse on Instagram. She caters to “strange angels, mystics, madmen, sinners, saints and you, of course.” Currently doing Lenormand readings, but you can hit her up for details if you’re interested in Tarot.

Readings; Consultations; Special Offers; Rush Services

ETA: As of Feb 2013, I am *not* accepting new clients for full, standalone readings. If you are not a new client, and you have inquired about and are ok with my turnaround time on full, standalone readings, you are welcome to book one. But for new clients, if we have not worked together before, we have to get to know each other a bit first if you want to wait on me for a full reading, *or* you can visit any of my recommended readers or my colleages at AIRR and Hoodoo Psychics. I need to know you a little bit before I’ll take you on as a reading client (a store customer is not necessarily a reading/rootwork client; if you have purchased products or supplies from me but have never had a consultation or done altar work with me, then you are a new client for the purposes of this service).

I am still accepting new clients for consultations. Because wordpress doesn’t like the embedded paypal code, you will have to visit the mirror site in order to book the following services.

If you are ok with the turnaround times, you can book below or at my userinfo page here using the first set of drop-down choices. The second set of drop-down choices is the same as it’s been, for consultations and commonly-requested altar work that doesn’t require contracts. I am offering a couple of options for RUSH readings and altar work, for a few select services, if you have an emergency, but it’s a good idea to write first just to double check that we are on the same page about the service and completion/delivery timeline.

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Full-length, In-depth, Stand-Alone Tarot Reading

***For Established Clients Only, Please****If you do not already have a file in my client filing cabinet with your name and previous session notes in it, then you are a  new client. If in doubt, feel free to write and ask. If I know you and we have spoken about more than postage, basically, you can probably book this service.*

One question or issue. Typically runs 2-4 single-spaced pages. I need your full name and date of birth, and the names and dates of birth, if possible, of other people you are inquiring about. This can be a general overview of your love life or spiritual health or life path; a look at the dynamics in a relationship; a look at larger patterns in your life for a general area of inquiry such “career” or “love life”; an analysis of the underlying causes, past, or roots of a current situation; a look at the past, present, and future of a situation; etc. Please see caveats elsewhere in this post about fortune-telling and turnaround time, which may be significant.

Delivered via email. $60.

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Mini Reading/Quick Checkup

*New clients may book this service as long as we have interacted before and your name is already in my database but not on my “yellow-light” or “do not serve” list; this is essentially a consultation, only without the rootwork advice or case assessment part.

Mini readings via Runes, I Ching, Geomancy, Knucklebones, Naipes Espanoles, Tarot, Voodoo tarot, saints’ cards, Stichomancy, Pendulum, Loteria cards, etc., as appropriate to the query. Typically run about 1 single spaced page. These are best when you need a quick look into a couple of areas, or a clearer look at one particular area or facet of an issue rather than a long 3D look at it from multiple angles.  These are usually along the lines of, and about the scope of, 3-card layouts, such as “past-present-future” or “path A-path B-Advice” or “you-the other-near future,” for instance. They are quite informative for many situations or queries, and are good for checkups and followup check-ins. They might be a bit inadequate for queries where you want a look at your relationship dynamic, at someone’s complex motivations, at how multiple possible paths could unfold in the nearer to longer-term future when you’re faced with a choice, stuff like that – for that sort of thing you’d likely be better booking a full reading. But you could also get a quick look first and then, if you decided any particular facet needed further inquiry or detail, you could book a followup on that facet – sometimes a mini reading gives you all you need for the time being (and I’ve had more than a couple of clients tell me that my mini readings are more detailed than they are accustomed to getting in regular readings from some other readers). One question or issue only. Please see related caveats in this post re. fortune telling (don’t ask me what day you will meet your future spouse or what color his shirt will be please; that sort of thing is a waste of both our time imo) and turnaround time (varies, but is the same as those for consultations).

Via email. $25.

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Reduced Rate/Followup Coaching

Generally, you should not book this service unless you’ve been told to. If you are seeking to have your case assessed for eligibility for the AIRR Pro Bono fund, you can book this reduced rate session as your intake reading. Please note that while pro bono intakes are sometimes called “ten-minute readings” or “$10 readings,” not all workers offer 10 min/$10 readings but they may offer some other reduced-rate option. I do not offer 10-minute/$10 readings (in part because 1. I only do consultations, not readings, for new clients, and I want to be consistent about my vocabulary so everybody knows what to expect; 2. my sessions are all via email, and because of that 3. they all take longer than ten minutes). But I am happy to do an “intake consultation” for you if you want to have your case assessed for pro bono eligibility; please realize, though, that my standard turnaround times apply. This is NOT a rush service.

You may also book this reduced rate session if your previous coaching session opens up a new avenue of inquiry or concern that was not on the table when you booked your session and you want more information. You may sometimes need to book a followup coaching session in order to pursue that new line of inquiry. A followup is not appropriate in all cases; some aditional queries need their own, brand new coaching session; some will need divination (which needs a followup consultation instead of a followup coaching), so please ask before booking this service.

Via email. $15

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RUSH Consultation: Within 72 Hours

If you have a time-sensitive issue, you can book this service and I guarantee to have my response to you within 72 hours (three business days) from receipt of 1. cleared payment, and 2. all photos/info I need to begin. Otherwise I will refund your fee. That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday, and then the 24th business hour would in that case be Monday at noon, not Sat at noon — weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first). In the rare event that I have my own emergency and I can’t meet the promised deadline, I will offer you a full refund even if I have already begun work on your consultation – if you book a rush service, I guarantee that you will get your initial substantive response from me within 3 business days or I will refund the fee.

Please also note that it may take a few more messages back-and-forth for the session as a whole to be completed — consultations generally involve some back-and-forth so we can establish what your best plan of action is given your available time and resources, what the divination recommends, and your comfort level in undertaking your own work — and that this back and forth may exceed the 72 hour timeframe. Subsequent quesions, clarification, or discussion after the initial response from me does *not* fall under the 72 hour deadline guarantee; I will tend to further questions or clarification as soon as possible after you send it, but the 72 hour clock does not apply. This service gets you a rush consultation, but you should not presume it therefore necessarily gets you a rush contract or rush altar work; the guarantee is for the initial consult only. Visit my Consultations page for more info about what they are, how they differ from standalone readings, what you can expect, etc.

**Please note** that this service is intended for time-sensitive things and for emergencies; if you don’t have a genuine deadline or crisis, I will probably refuse your booking and refund your fee. All of my client’s situations are important, and many have time-sensitive issues they are waiting on me for and they booked trusting I would get to them within the stated turnaround; I won’t bump time-sensitive consults of other clients for a new “rush” booking on something that is not a genuine emergency or critical situation. So try to put yourself in my shoes — and in others’ shoes — for a minute and realize that others have upcoming court cases, custody hearings, foreclosure they’re fighting, government-imposed deadlines they’re dealing with, etc. Make sure your situation is genuinely urgent and not something that could be handled just fine if you were a little more patient or if you weren’t in such an upsetting emotional place about it 🙂

One question or issue/one set of detailed instructions per session. Via email. $55.

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RUSH Uncrossing/Cleansing with Personal Concerns

Distance Uncrossing/Cleansing on my altars, using your personal concerns, via bathing, censing, and/or pendulum work depending on the available type of concern.  A photograph of the person to be uncrossed or cleansed is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair is highly recommended. You will receive a booking acknowledgment email telling you how to proceed. I guarantee to perform the work within 48 hours (two business days) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first). This is for one Uncrossing/Cleansing session (analogous to a single spiritual bath, for example); some situations may need more than one session, just as some cases need more than a single spiritual bath, but this service is most often booked to coincide with and “back up” baths taken by the client at the same time, rather than serving as a substitute. Folks will often book one distance session to start them off strong on a course of Uncrossing which they then proceed to complete on their ends, as usual, with self-administered spiritual baths. It is also used when folks are having work done on behalf of someone who will not participate in their own cleansing/uncrossing and need work done on their behalf without their participation.  For more information about how these work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description.

One person or one dwelling/building (ie, a single object or set of concerns on the altar, not multiple photos or objects) per session. $50.

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RUSH Protection Work with Personal Concerns

Distance Protection work on my altars, using your personal concerns, via bathing, censing, and/or pendulum work depending on the available type of concern.  A photograph of the person, place, or home to be protected is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair (or dirt from a property in the case of a home or work environment needing attention) is highly recommended. You will receive a booking acknowledgment email telling you how to proceed. I guarantee to perform the work within 48 hours (two business days) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first).This is for one Protection session (analogous to a single spiritual bath, for example); some situations may need more than one session, just as some cases need more than a single spiritual bath, but this service is most often booked to coincide with and “back up” baths taken by the client at the same time, rather than serving as a substitute.  It is also used when folks are having work done on behalf of someone who will not participate in their own cleansing/uncrossing and need work done on their behalf without their participation. This is not a substitute for a full Fiery Wall of Protection spell, but it’s good for sensitive and/or acute situations of short but intense duration, such as when a phobic person is flying on an airplane, or when a client is going into a bad neighborhood on a certain time/day, etc. For more information about how these work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description.

One person or one dwelling/building (ie, a single object or set of concerns on the altar, not multiple photos or objects) per session. $50.

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RUSH Light Set

If you need a light set fast, you can book this service and I guarantee to have it set within 24 hours (one business day) of receipt of cleared payment and any info/photos/petitions I need to proceed.  That means that if you book on Wed at noon but you don’t get dates of birth and any other info I need to me until Friday at noon, your clock starts Friday, not Wednesday.  (Weekends and holidays do NOT count, and while I can sometimes work through weekends and holidays, that is a case-by-case thing and not something you can count on without checking first).  This is for one light setting, of a one-color, glass encased vigil candle which will be dressed, fixed, and blessed for your intention. The burning candle will be “read” and reported on, with a one-page emailed report including photograph.  This service guarantees your light will be set on my altars within one business day or your money back (it does not rush your report once the light is done burning, nor delivery of your photographs of the work in progress – it just expedites the setting of the light). For more information about how light settings work, visit my website’s Altar Work page for a full description. Feel free to write first and make sure I’m not coming down with something or expecting company or whatever during your 24-hour period, if you like.

**Please note** that this service is intended for time-sensitive things and for emergencies; if you don’t have a genuine deadline or crisis, I will probably refuse your rush booking and refund your fee. All of my client’s situations are important, and many have time-sensitive issues they are waiting on me for and they booked trusting I would get to them within the stated turnaround; I won’t bump time-sensitive consults of other clients for a new “rush” booking on something that is not a genuine emergency or critical situation. So try to put yourself in my shoes — and in others’ shoes — for a minute and realize that others have upcoming court cases, custody hearings, foreclosure they’re fighting, government-imposed deadlines they’re dealing with, etc. Make sure your situation is genuinely urgent and not something that could be handled just fine if you were a little more patient or if you weren’t in such an upsetting emotional place about it 🙂

Set within 24 hours (one business day). $45.


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After You Book

When you book your service, you will receive a booking acknowledgment email giving you instructions on how to communicate with me about your booking/service and give me further info/photos, etc.  For a full reading, you probably cannot fit all the details and background info I’d need into the “note to seller” box. That is fine – don’t worry. Just wait until you get the booking acknowledgment email and then follow the instructions in it by replying to it. ***Please do NOT send a separate or second email giving me your question/issue and personal information, separate from your payment. Most especially, do not use the Contact form at the website to send your info before or after your payment. PLEASE wait for confirmation and instructions instead, and then reply to that confirmation email.***

Delivery of your Reading/Service

Please note that readings are done on a first-come, first-served basis, and by purchasing a reading, you are reserving your spot in line. If you are in a really big hurry, please visit AIRR, The Association of Independent Readers and Rootworkers, for a list of reliable readers. Or visit my Recommended Readers page for a list of other recommended readers.  I don’t like being pestered and it is frustrating for both client and worker when clients don’t read the directions. When you book, you will get a confirmation email and an estimated turnaround time, but it’s just an estimate. So if you are in a hurry, ask first. You may be happier booking a reading with one of my colleagues instead of with me.

My Philosophy as a Reader
(Readings are not Consultations)

I prefer not to do “what is the name of my future husband” and “on what day will such and such happen” inquiries – they are not really very suitable queries for the type of reading I do (and they’re frankly not terribly useful areas of inquiry in general, if you want my professional and personal opinion from over 25 years of experience doing this, but your mileage may vary – I’m just trying to give folks a snapshot of where I’m coming from, and I come from a practical place focused on what you can do to change your situation for the better, so I don’t see the point of having a reading just to have a thirty-minute session of wish-fulfillment/fantasy role playing. You could meet that tall dark stranger in 2030, sure, but WWIII could have started in 2029, or you could be already married to someone else by then, etc. – I don’t see the point in “fortune telling,” in other words). If you do need some sort of specific timeframe analysis, you need to book a full-length reading, no matter the type of inquiry, because I will have to use astrology for that; and so I will also need the times and places of birth of the parties in question, in that case. Even then, things are not set in stone and you are probably not going to get a calendar day for an event.

My readings are very detailed and usually pretty long – a full reading is sometimes overkill for simple inquiries, like if you just want a quick look at which of two job options is more promising in the area of short-term income, or if you want a quick diagnosis on whether someone is being upfront with you. A mini reading or quick check-in might do the trick in those cases, if you don’t need a look into the dynamics or an extended outcome.  If you aren’t sure what type of reading to book, feel free to write me with your inquiry and I can make a recommendation.

I give readings with the Tarot, a pictorial system of divination that tells a story — and as a reader, I work with you to interpret what that story is saying that you need to hear. This means that sometimes the cards will have something to say that you don’t think bears on your original question, or have something to say that you don’t like or expect. I am not brutal, but I am honest, so please be prepared if you choose to come to me for a reading. I can help you look at your underlying motivations, your karmic “checking account,” and the unseen influences at work in your life, relationship, career, and family situation. I specialize in in-depth email readings. I am not a mind-reader nor am I clairaudient, so if you want somebody to tell you your dog’s name or what you’re wearing, please go to someone else. If you want a thoughtful, insightful reading and are willing to participate in the reading, then contact me — I have a great deal of experience at seeing patterns of behavior and “getting at” underlying motivations. I am not here to “Wow” anybody with my “amazing psychic-to-the-stars!!11omg skills, or “no need to tell me a thing!” gimmicks; I am here to show them how to “Wow” themselves by getting to the heart of their experiences, seeing and releasing useless or harmful patterns of behavior, and seeing and capitalizing on positive patterns and energies. I don’t do mumbo-jumbo and fluffy teddy bears and fortune-cookie readings – I do practical, down-to-earth readings that leave you with a clearer picture of your situation and options and empower you to make better decisions for your success and well-being.

I believe we have control over our choices and our paths in life, and that free will is one of our greatest spiritual gifts (even though it’s also a source of tension and uncertainty in our limited material, human perspectives!). I will never tell you something MUST be, in a reading — I will only tell you what influences are working at present and where things are headed based on those influences. You have the power to shape your life and take positive action. I can help you use the Tarot as a map when you need guidance, but you’re driving!

Please feel free to ask about how I work or tell me a little about your situation or issue before booking, so we can be sure you and I are a good fit for your divination needs. I am best at readings that look at underlying motivations, thoughts, feelings, patterns, and dynamics. I will not tell you how many children you will have or what your college roommate’s name was or any of that cold-reading stuff.

I don’t advertise these services as a reader outside the context of rootwork consultations at AIRR or elsewhere anymore, because root-doctor work, creating and shipping my line of supplies, and consultations have taken up all my available time for some years now. But you can look here to see my profile and testimonials at one of the numerous third-party sites I used to work through back in the day when I got back to the States and began offering services online; it should give you some confidence that I’m neither a novice nor a scam artist.  (note: please do NOT try to book a service through the liveperson site – the greedy bastards decided to require application fees on top of the 45% they take off the top of any session conducted through their site, and they didn’t grandfather anyone in, so I do NOT have an active account there because I am NOT going to pay them to be listed there. Therefore I *cannot* reply to your message, take your call, or do readings on that site. I am giving the link just so you can see that I didn’t fall off the cabbage truck yesterday.)

holiday closure dates + consultation/reading queue status

We are closed from Dec 20 through Jan 3.  (Yes, Dani, this means you have time off if you want it!)  Both the Bonanza store/booth and the eBay store have a "vacation" sign posted. If you finalize an order after midnight EST on Dec 20, the handling time for that order will begin on Jan 3 when we reopen.  This is posted on every eBay item page and on the store header at eBay.  I understand that at bonanza, items are simply unavailable for viewing when the vacation mode is on. I am unsure if I will be able to get the website updated in time due to circumstances beyond my control (my web guy's new, demanding day job), so if you placed an order from http://www.karmazain.com after Dec 20, and would like a refund rather than waiting until January for your item, then please email me directly at karmazain at gmail.com.  Put "refund request" in the subject line for fastest reply (I can only check email via cellphone when I'm back at the "old homestead," so I only skim new messages' subject lines for emergencies when I'm back home; therefore, if you have an emergency, it behooves you to craft a descriptive yet short subject line, and frankly, the shorter/simpler/to the point your message is, the better, too, if you want a fast response.  I will be on vacation, remember!). We will reply to correspondence and begin processing orders, in the order they are received, as soon as possible upon our reopening.  If you placed or paid for a purchase during our store closure, your handling time will begin on Jan 3 when we reopen. If you placed an order and completed payment before midnight EST on Dec 20, your order will ship before I leave town unless we discussed otherwise via email or private message (as in the case of complex custom orders). If you have a consultation order in already, I am doing my darnedest to get done with all in queue before I leave. Don't forget that the FAQ at the website and at eBay answers 98% of questions about shipping and item status/tracking.  Have a safe and happy holiday! Karma Zain *** Current consultation queue (I haven't heard back from some of you and worry that the message may not have gotten through and you are still waiting, so I'm posting the initials of the last few I've finished typing and sent along as well, so you should know where you stand if you have a consultation order in in the last few weeks and haven't seen it. If your initials are here saying "sent" and you don't have it, let me know ASAP so I can resend!):

  • C.M. placed 10/29 – complete and sent
  • K.H. placed 10/30 – complete and sent
  • H.C. placed 11/10 – complete and sent
  • J.J. placed 11/11 – complete and sent
  • B.F. placed 11/12 – complete and sent
  • P.V. placed 11/14 – complete and sent
  • K.K. placed 11/16 – complete and sent
  • C.C. placed 11/20 – complete and sent
  • T.V. placed 11/21 – working on it now, you'll get it tomorrow when I have slept and can proofread it
  • L.N. placed 11/21 – working on it
  • J.S. placed 11/30 – you'll get it this week
  • T.J. placed 12/2 – you'll get it this week
  • K.Y. placed 12/15 – you'll get it this week
  • K.Y. placed 8/19 and moved to lower priority behind other issues as discussed
  • K.Y. placed 11/14 and moved to lower priority behind other issues as discussed

Current readings queue (I'm sorry, y'all! You know my offer of a refund ALWAYS stands if I have not begun the reading. I am just slow as molasses on full readings; I'm your absolute worst bet for any kind of emergency or deadline with full readings).

  • A.P. – refunded
  • B.C. – I really was almost done before I got hit with a bunch of other shit, and now i need to double check that things haven't shifted radically before I tie it up and send it, but that's the matter of a quarter hour rather than an entire year's season 🙂
  • K.Y.
  • J.R.
  • J.S.
  • D.S.
  • B.F.
  • A.T. (I owe you at least one from way back; your call when)
  • F.P. (ditto, and the "reading as lesson" offer still stands too)
  • +B in Cali – I think you prepaid for about four or five years ago, and I am pretty sure you only called for one since then)

Commonly Requested Altar Work and Services

Since the new web design and store are not quite ironed out yet (sigh), I thought I’d write a post describing some of the more commonly requested types of altar work and spellwork.  I find myself answering the same questions over and over again and typing up the same info about price ranges and what spells include, and so I’m posting this so I’ll have a URL to refer people to so they can see photos and get an idea of how I work.

One day this stuff will have its own page with photos on the website, but this’ll have to do in the meanwhile, and in the meanwhile you can book any of the following services using the paypal menu at my userinfo pagePLEASE NOTE: If you are a new client or customer, meaning I have not already done altar work or a reading or consultation for you, and you want to book something other than a light setting, *I use contracts for all rootwork and altar work beyond light settings and mojo bags.*  I will have to write one up for your case and you will have to agree to its terms before I will accept your payment and begin work.  The contract spells out what you can expect and when, and it gives the fee for the altar work. This fee will not change; I will not write you a week into the work and say "I see you are miserably cursed; send me $1000 for a cleansing of your aura" or any garbage like that.  If something comes up in the course of the work that makes me think we need to adjust fire, I’ll contact you about it, but I will never take it upon myself to adjust contracted work without your agreement, and I will never say "I had to do X so you owe me another X amount of money."  If you are a new client and would like to see a sample contract before booking, I’ll be happy to send you one to look over so you can get an idea of how I work and what sort of responses you can expect from me.  If you are new to hiring a professional worker at all, you might have a look through my list of posts on client education, client info, frequently asked questions, etiquette and ethics, hoodoo education, principles of magic, and questions you’ve asked.

Please note that I do not take all cases that cross my "desk."  In fact, I turn away more cases than I take (largely because most of the queries that I get are for reconciliation in, or work on, a troubled relationship, and this means that a great number of people seeking spellwork are 1. desperate and hurting and 2. not coming from a background of familiarity with the principles of magic but are rather led to magic out of desperation over their love life, 3. have often tried other "spellcasters" before who operate a certain way and thus they expect everybody to operate this way, and thus they 4. often have unrealistic expectations and 5. get really offended and/or refuse to believe that there is not something unique about them, or their ex, or their case when a worker suggests that their expectations are unrealistic and/or success in their case is unlikely).  For the record, I do take the occasional reconciliation case.  I’d say I take 1 out of every 85 that come my way.  I require a consultation before I can say whether and how I can help, but often I know whether I will take the case or not based on the contents of the initial contact email, truth be told.  There are a lot of workers out there who are a lot more patient than I am about educating spellwork newcomers about the principles of said spellwork, so folks seeking reconciliation are usually going to be happier with one of those folks anyway.  For more on reconciliation, follow the tags.

So, my putting up a list of work that I often do doesn’t mean you can just push a button and that’s the end of it, the universe sends everything you want your way and it lands in your lap with a bow on top.  It doesn’t work that way.  If you are new to hiring a professional spiritual worker, and especially if you are new to conjure and hoodoo, please educate yourself before hiring me or any other worker to do spiritual work for you.  There are a ton of scam artists out there, and there are a ton of newcomers to the world of professional spellwork for them to scam every day. Don’t be taken in.  Perhaps counterintuitively, some of the major signs of a scam artist often include the infamous "Satisfaction Guarantee" and the less infamous, but once upon a time quite common, "Pay Half Now and Pay the Rest Only When You Are Satisfied" appeals.  These would appear to be a good thing – why they aren’t is too long a tale for this already-long post, but one of these days I’ll get around to posting about it. (This is not to say that these automatically mean scam, but combined with a few other signs, they ought to be Giant Yellow Lights for anyone.  Check out your worker’s rep.  Put the internet to work for you.)

Email consultations.  Read more about them here and here.  Turnaround time is typically about 14 working days.

Vigil Light Setting with Report .  You send me a one or two sentence petition, and the full names of any people involved in the petition as well as any photos you want me to use.  I fix, dress, and burn a customized 7 day vigil light for you, reporting on the results of the burn via email upon its completion.

Three-day taper settings (MWF), no report.  These are commonly used for maintenance of a honey jar or sour jar that you have working on my altars, though they can also be booked if you just want a petition set on my altar with a standalone taper light, three times a week for one week.  I report generally upon the work when it’s completed, but do not give a play-by-play on a daily or even weekly basis with this service.

Email followup on previous consult or ongoing work.  If you need a checkup on work you currently have contracted with me, or a followup on an earlier consultation, or even a checkup on work you’re doing for yourself that you’ve consulted with me about before, book a followup consultation rather than a brand-new one.

Email Readings.  Turnaround times are currently in excess of eight weeks, so I discourage new clients from booking them.  I can recommend a number of good readers who aren’t booked up as bad as I am and who can get back to you sooner.  If you don’t mind the queue and your question is not urgent, then you can book an email reading with me.

Custom Honey Jar, with 1 month work on my altar.
  You send me info about your situation, and I make a custom honey jar for you and work it on my altars for four weeks, setting lights on it three times a week (MWF, no light setting report).  Does not include shipping; at the end of the month we can discuss what you want to do next.


Uncrossing or Spiritual Cleansing via pendulum and censing on my altars.
  A photograph of the person to be uncrossed or cleansed is necessary, and a personal concern such as hair is highly recommended.  Contact me for instructions on how to mail the personal concerns.   If you want a 7 day run of spiritual cleansing or uncrossing work, then book seven of these.  If you need these timed to coincide with work you are doing on your end, such as a series of uncrossing baths, then please contact me before booking to make sure I can meet your needs in terms of scheduling.  Sometimes my altars are full or I have other work going on that has a tight schedule or timing to it.


Fiery Wall of Protection Spell.
  Standard, for one person.  Includes creation of protection mojo (technically a paket, as it cannot be opened once it’s ritually tied as part of its creation, and it’s a good bit larger than a mojo bag), shipping cost to a US address, and cemetery disposal of the ritual remains associated with your enemy or troublemaker. Please contact me before booking for options for having the spell worked for multiple protectees, as well as for options if you prefer a different type of disposal of the remains or prefer to have them mailed to you to dispose of yourself.  Can be worked without personal concerns, but they are highly recommended; contact me for instructions on how to mail them.  *If you are a brand-new client, especially if you are new to hoodoo, I strongly recommend you write to me and tell me a bit about your situation before purchasing this service.  This may not be the best spell for your case, and/or we may want to do a different type of ritual disposal depending on what you need protection from.*  If you are trying to call down hellfire and brimstone on your neighbor for parking on your side of the street, or you want to send an enemy to the graveyard spirits because they were rude to you at a party, I will probably refund your money and refuse the case.  So feel free to write first.

Moving Lodestone Attraction spell.  Includes creation of mojo bag and shipping, along with lodestone food and instructions, to a US address.  Suitable for those trying to draw a specific lover, to draw a new and unknown lover, or to bring two people together for other, non-romantic purposes (such as making a new friend, strengthening a friendship, getting an influential person to take your side in something,etc).  Personal concerns are highly recommended; contact me for instructions on how to mail them. 

Basic Binding spell, 7 day, with remains shipped to you with instructions for disposal. Binding spells of this sort are done to hold an enemy down to prevent him or her from taking further action against you.  Personal concerns are ideal but this can be worked even if the enemy’s name is not known.  You can use this spell even if you have multiple and/or unknown targets.  You should not, however, expect the same sort of results if you are working without a link to your target as you’d get it you were targeting a specific person with their personal concerns.  If you are trying to bind two people together for a love spell, or trying to bind a partner’s nature sexually, you must have a consultation before I will agree to take your case.  I do not accept the majority of love cases that people write to me about, but even if I will not take your case (and statistically there is a very good chance I won’t), I will probably be able to recommend another reader or worker to you who might speak with you about it, so don’t be afraid to write.

Basic Reversing spell, crossroads disposal.  These spells are to send nasty junk back on the person or people who are aiming it at you.  It is not, in itself, an uncrossing spell, and it is not, in itself, a revenge spell.  It is not really a complete protection spell either, in a lot of cases.  So it often needs to be done as part of a more complex set of actions or steps.  It may not be the best solution for your case, so please feel free to inquire before booking this service.  This spell uses a jumbo reversing candle set on a customized, fixed mirror and prepared with all the necessary reversing materia magica.  At the conclusion of the working, the remains are disposed of by me at a crossroads.  I have to drive out to the country to do this spell right, so do not expect your report within a few hours of the candle going out.  As with the above Binding spell, this can be done with or without personal concerns and known full names, but personal concerns are always better.

I do lots of other different types of spellwork, but these are by far the types of spells I do most frequently.  Even if you don’t end up going with something listed here for your spellwork, this should hopefully give you an idea of what to expect and what kind of fees are involved in typical cases.  Many customized workings will involve modifications to the basic types of spells mentioned above.  And while other workers’ preferences in setting up their altars, fee structures, contract terms, turnaround times, reporting styles, preferred methods etc. will vary, traditional rootworkers will usually offer similar types of spells, so this can be a good introduction to your research on having a rootworker cast a spell for you.

Some altar work, such as most light settings and mojo bags, does not require a consultation – or rather does not require you to book a consultation before I can begin your work.  You should always just write first and give me a (brief) intro to your situation, asking if this or that spell is right for you, if you need a formal consultation, if I have anything to recommend. Sometimes I can make a recommendation that won’t require you to book a consultation.  Most light settings and mojo bags can be booked with our trading a few emails, informally, rather than your having to order a formal consultation. And some types of altar work can be be booked the same way.  Anything involving  hexing, crossing, breakup, hot foot etc, OR involving an existing romantic relationship, is probably going to require a formal consultation, though.

But write before you purchase – you never know.

How to Get a Lame Reading

If you are out to get a reading that does not satisfy your actual questions and concerns, one surefire way to do this is to hide your questions and concerns from your reader.

If you call or write asking, “I just want to know what’s going on in my relationship right now,” and that is all you want to say, I can lay some cards and hammer out a picture, but it’s going to take longer than it has to to get to your real concerns.  If I pull the 8 of Wands and the 7 of Swords for your situation, and I don’t know anything else, I am likely to interpret that as meaning that you are in a long-distance or other kind of difficult relationship and the strain is getting to be too much – one or both of you is on the brink of giving up, thinking that the effort invested in maintaining the relationship is not worth the payoff anymore.  But if what’s really going on is that you are unhappy about the way communication has been going, and you’re wondering what’s going on with your partner, those same two cards could indicate that you sent a letter, package, or email and your message was lost, waylaid, eaten by an internet Grue, or stolen by a neighbor.  See what I’m saying?

There’s something of a myth in some circles that a “good reader” ought to be able to tell you everything that’s going on without you opening your mouth and saying a word. Well, folks, sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s a crock.  Some readers can tell you an awful lot without you opening your mouth, but then you can’t get all mad if what’s coming through is info about ancestors you’ve been neglecting and ignoring when what you really wanted to focus on was your career. The majority of readers – of very good, ethical, reputable, experienced readers – are going to be able to do a better job looking into your exact concerns if you tell them what the exact concerns are.  A card reader or tea leaf reader isn’t necessarily also an empath or also clairaudient or clairvoyant or whatever.  And even a reader who is able to get a bead on the emotional “flavor” of a situation, or on what issue drove you to seek a reading, is *still* going to be able to answer your questions more quickly and efficiently if you tell them what the questions are.

Here’s a classic “bad question” – “What’s going on with me right now and where are things headed?”

Well, Jesus wept.  What *things*?  When I get a question like that, and the client is not face to face where we can go along talking and pulling cards as new things come up and to clarify things that are already on the table, I’m going to do an “overview.” It will look, in not a hell of a lot of depth, at a bunch of different areas of your life. If this is not what you want, then you’d best tell your reader *what you want.*

This does not mean, “I want to know the hair color, height, date of birth, and city of origin of my future spouse, as well as the name of his college roommate’s dog.” If you call me with that stuff, I’m going to hang up and refund your money.  But if you have a crossroads in front of you and aren’t sure what decision to make, I can do a reading that looks at the “best possible outcome” for several different paths or options, and you can use this information to help you make a choice.  One path might offer more emotional fulfillment where the other might offer more financial security, and once you know what’s what, you can factor this info into your decision making process.  It would be much more useful for you to say, “I have a few possible career paths in front of me and I’d like more information on how to choose the best one for me,” versus, “I need a reading on my job situation.”

So if you want a good reading, work on asking a good question or at least framing a clear issue.

readers’ questions – learning divination

A client asked how I "got so good" at Tarot (which is awfully nice of her to say):

Twenty years of practice, is probably the best answer 🙂  I’m a word-and-story person (I have an advanced literature degree) so Tarot works for me – not really even because of the symbols – different decks have different symbols, but I can pick up any deck and read with it (heck, I can read with a set of bar coasters, or a deck of Uno cards, actually) because I can "read" or "see"  the story that the cards are telling.  It’s like seeing a whole different level "underneath" the cards, maybe is one way to put it, even though that’s not quite accurate.  It’s less the symbols and more the interaction of the cards with each other and the story that comes out.  After a while, all that "seeing" and "putting together" happens so fast that it translates as a "feeling," or a "flash," or a "knowing," but I’m not sure it’s not the same process I used or had or went through twenty years ago. It’s just now I’m much better at "reading" it fluently and then conveying it fluently (on good days anyway!) and so the picture assembles itself more quickly for me now.  Or something like that. 

I mean, some people say folks are either gifted for this kind of work or not, but I’m not sure about that.  I think there are people who are more gifted than others, just as there are people who are more gifted musicians or artists than others, but everybody can learn some basics of divination, and improve, just as anybody can learn scales (even if only by rote, because they’re tone deaf) or improve their drawing abilities with practice.  Some days I’m not sure it’s a gift at all, and I think it’s just a skill, like learning another language – some people have a knack for it and can do it easier, but anybody can do it.  Not everybody will be a great writer or orator, but anybody can understand and make themselves understood. But I’m speaking of myself only – there are people out there who are clairaudient and the like, and I’m not sure if I could teach myself how to do that at all. That kind of thing might be a gift you either have or don’t, I don’t know.  But divining with a tool like a Tarot deck? I think anybody can learn the basics.

Some people aren’t word-and-story people, though, and they might approach Tarot differently, perhaps relying more heavily on symbols or images (if they’re visual people) or on numerology (if they’re number people).  So I think a lot of learning to do effective divination is learning what divination style suits you best and picking the right tool for the job.  The Tarot is particularly rich because it does have all the associations with numerology, cabala,astrology, etc – if you learn all that stuff, you will find your "vocabulary" greatly enriched.  It’s a hell of a lot of info to sort out at first – which of a bajillion various possible meanings could these two cards next to each other have when you take all the influencing traditions into account?! – but you eventually internalize that stuff, I guess, if you use it, and it’s just "available" to you.  But maybe some people don’t read this way at all.  I can only speak for myself.

In my opinion, practicing on oneself is also not a very effective way to learn how to read (though it’s a good way to get to know a deck).  A deck of cards or a set of runes is a system unto itself, with a vocabulary, and maybe even a typical syntax.  You learn the rules of the system and then you will get more and more fluent and putting them together, and being able to "Translate" the messages into English for your querents.  ‘Cause memorizing a book of meanings so you can say what each card means is like memorizing the alphabet – you need to know it, but it’s only the very beginning.  And getting feedback from other people that can help you see how the cards or runes bear on their issues will help you learn the "rules" of syntax for your chosen divination system.  I’m not sure if that makes sense, and I’m also pretty sure it’s not the way some people would put it, but it’s been a fairly decent analogy for me over the years.  Again, though, that’s probably because I’m a "words and stories" person.  I can read with runes, but I find them more laconic than I like and it’s harder for me to read at a distance with them, and I can do charts, but I find that the math and numbers and "two-dimensional" way of representing charts turns the reading part of my brain off – the other parts have to work too hard and the part of me that can see stories and make them into English for people gets drowned out, if that makes any sense at all!

Anyway, practice practice practice is my best advice – and get other people to let you practice on them, too.  After a while you find yoru comfort zone with a deck – and experience will teach you that even though the book says "blah blah whatever," those two cards next to each other usually mean "long distance relationship," or when a certain card comes up first when you read for someone you don’t know, it can be a warning to *you,* the reader! rather than a message for the client.  Stuff like that.  You just get there with practice and study.  Maybe some people can read without practice and study, but I suspect those people could read without any tools at all (and probably because they are at least somewhat empathic, and probably also because they know human nature pretty well, and the cards being there is rather immaterial.  For me, it pays to learn the ins and outs of any new divination tool and system, and the best way for me has been to practice on people and get feedback.  And oddly, I have found that over the last few years I really can sometimes read with no tools at all – or with tools that have no really formal system (like a pack of kids’ go-fish cards or a stack of bar coasters) but I"m not sure I could have gotten to the edge of that possibility had I not spent the previous twenty years just plain doing divination and understanding what that "place where it makes sense" feels like and comes from, if that came out in English at all.  

Good luck!

Special offer for facebook and livejournal readers

Now through Wed, Sep 30, get an email consultation or mini-reading (3-5 card tarot reading, bibliomancy, or other oracle) for only $9.  Offer valid through this URL only.  You must register at this third-party site to take advantage of this offer, and send me a note saying you want the facebook special when you contact me through the site.

Consultations and mini-readings normally start at $15, so this is a nice discount for you if you’ve had something on your mind and want a little guidance. First come, first served.  Offer expires at midnight Central US time.

website updates, consultations

The Altar Work page on my website now has a functional shopping cart for everything that doesn’t require a consultation beforehand.  So it’s a one stop page for single-candle light settings, mojo bags, chicken foot charms, and pakets wanga.  We’re still working on some of the photo issues (I sent crummy photos which are not working out, and then the "pakets" box has a photo of a mojo bag instead of a paket right now), but all the paypal buttons should be working.

Anything not listed on the page with a "buy it now" button needs a consultation.  ANY breakup, crossing, goofering or revenge work needs a consultation.

And a note on consultations: I’ve had more than one person lately purchase a consultation without reading any of the text associated with that consultation.  I then have to ask them to read the text again and make sure this is the service they want, since they’re asking for stuff I don’t do (like call them on the phone). Then I have to refund their money.  All of this back and forth could be avoided if people would *read.*  On every site at which I offer the means to purchase a consultation with me, the copy makes it clear that

  • – these are EMAIL consultations, not phone consultations
  • – they are consultations, not full-length, in-depth readings
  • – clients need to allow 7 days turnaround time for completion, AFTER receipt of all the info I need (if it takes me two days to get all your info, your seven days starts then).  I will answer your email ordering the consultation within 24-48 hours, and ask for any info I need, but it might take me a few days to finish yours, as sometimes a bunch come in at once. 

Guys, if this were a full-length, in-depth reading, there is no way in hell you’d be getting it for $10 or $15, sorry.  I’m not just starting out.  I haven’t charged prices that low in 20 years.  And I HATE the phone.  I do not talk on it without a prior appointment being set up.

I apologize to those of you that read, and to those of you that have read this before; I’m mostly posting it for the benefit of newer blog readers who may not already know this stuff.

NOW, how about a hoodoo post?  Let me find y’all something by way of thanks for listening to me beat this "why don’t people read the item details" dead horse….

Tarot / Cartomancy Reading raffle

I have several readings I have to finish over the weekend, and then I will have a little tiny bit of time in the coming week. I also have some brand new card decks I’ve been wanting to read with. So I’ve decided to raffle off a reading. Raffle "tickets" are $1. The raffle opens immediately and ends at midnight EST on March 9th.  Tickets may be purchased via paypal using the button below.

I will draw the winner on March 10th and announce him or her here as well as in a personal email. The reading will be delivered to the winner’s email inbox when I’m done with it, and the paid readings I have in queue have to come first. I gave up on making any promises about when I would complete readings, as my schedule is so busy these days, so if you have a time sensitive issue, your best bet is to consult one of the readers on my userinfo page; they work much more quickly than I do 🙂 But if you’ve been waiting around for me to have time to do a reading, this is a chance. I will probably not accept any new reading orders until this summer, after this one.

I will choose the deck I read with based on its appropriateness to your question or issue.  The winner receives a one-question/issue reading; these average 1-2 pages single spaced.

ETA:  In addition to the usual sort of "relationship status," "upcoming job opportunities," "life path," and "next step" types of readings, this reading could also examine which saints or spirits you should or could be working with for your situation, what rootwork/hoodoo remedies are recommended for your case, what offering you might make to help you overcome a sticky situation or obstacle, etc.  

ETA: Offer is now closed.

limited time readings on ebay

I have a couple of Tarot readings up on ebay. They are up for a thirty day listing, but they will not stay up for the whole thirty days.  My semester starts again on the 20th and I will be teaching a class I’ve never taught before as well as learning a new language; also, I owe four readings right now that take precedence over anything that gets ordered in the next few days on ebay.  Therefore, I will take these down when I begin to be too busy with school, and I am unlikely to offer any more until my Christmas break.

So if you have been wanting a reading, order NOW would be my advice.  Having readings in a queue for a while stresses me out; I don’t like to take orders for them when I’m too busy to do them right away, so I simply won’t take anymore when these are done until pressure in other areas of my life has lifted.

Cheers,

Karma